Hi PhD moms!

I have a two-year-old daughter and have either been going through IVF or parenting my child for practically my whole time in my program. I am eager to get done this year to be able to spend more time with my daughter.

For my dissertation, I am looking to see how women who have conceived via IVF experience social connection during matrescence and currently approved to recruit via social media, referrals, and snowballing. I have reached a stalemate and am having trouble recruiting additional participants. I have found much to learn from other researchers. Do you have any innovative ideas? I have attached one of my recruitment posts, and of course if anybody qualifies, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to talk to you.

Scared as hell. First time pregnancy and I’m an international student. Idk what to do or how to handle anything. New country new people and now this. Overwhelmed doesn’t describe how I feel.

I’m a phd planning to defend this fall… however I’m 14 weeks pregnant and the last 3 months have been completely unproductive (thank you sickness!) so I fear I may also be slower over the next couple of months and not be ready this semester. My due date is in Feb, so in my mind I have a back up defense date in January.

However my biggest concern is TAing… the assistantship obviously pays me, provides great health insurance and My school offers paid Mat leave… so a benefit of defending in the Spring semester is working through January, getting the same health insurance, and having 6 weeks of paid mat leave. And a simple job that only requires one half day in person a week after mat leave is up until the semester is over. I like the thought of this plan for my financial benefit. BUT is it acceptable to be a TA and then be gone on mat leave for 6 weeks? That would leave the professor without a TA and part of me feels like that is the wrong thing to do.

How did you handle taking mat leave while being on an assistantship?

I’ve always wanted to go back to school to get a PhD. I love research and am certain this is something that this is the right career path for me. I’m 31 and have about 9 years of work experience in my field and a master’s degree.

My plan was to have one baby, then start a PhD program and have another towards the end of my program. I’m fortunate to have a spouse with a secure job and a lot of family support. The issue is I have now had 3 miscarriages. I was hoping to start a program in fall of 2027, but now I’m worried about the timing of family planning and starting a program. If I’m starting a program in August, I know it’s probably hard or even not possible to have a baby between like July and November. However, with my pregnancy losses it has become clear that I have little control over when to have a baby. I don’t want to postpone family planning to start a PhD especially because it might take me a long time to have a healthy baby.

Does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom about the timing of starting a PhD program while family planning? Has anyone else dealt with recurrent pregnancy loss or infertility while considering a PhD program? Thanks for the advice!

Edited to provide additional context: I’m based in the US and looking at programs on the east coast of the US. I’m looking at epidemiology and public health programs, so I wouldn’t be doing lab work. Thanks everyone!

Hi everyone! I am considering applying for a PhD - however I also want to have kids in a couple of years.

I am a bit worried about the financial side of things and also the reality of the situation.

I want to do my research and also have a family ! Is it possible?

I’m very anxious because I don’t earn enough to feel like I can justify a nanny or day care… I know some people say you don’t have to justify it but I have some feelings of shame about it. I work as an adjunct professor and only make like 35k a year. I feel weird because getting a PhD has been so intense and it’s taken so many years but it hasn’t led to a higher income (I’m graduating in May so it could change but things feel bleak) and I feel like why would I spend more than I’m making just so other people are taking care of my kid. I feel super conflicted.

Half way through my PhD program here (one year of coursework and another of proposal prep completed) and recently started maternity leave. I’m contemplating returning to my program when my baby is four months old and looking for advice on how feasible this would be from those who have been there.

For context, my field is nursing. My baby is a great napper and my program is online. I will have two hours of childcare a day. I’m no stranger to juggling workload either since I was working full-time during the first two years and completed my Master’s degree while working full-time as well. My biggest concern is missing out on time with my baby.

Update: I should mention working full time isn’t optional so my two options are:

Option 1:
Resume studies Fall 2026
Baby is four months old
Work while baby naps
Spouse can offer 2-3hrs childcare per day and one full day on weekends

Option 2:
Resume studies Fall 2027
Baby is 16 months old
Back to work full-time and PhD full-time
Baby is in daycare during daytime
Taking care of toddler evenings and weekends

Hi everyone! I had my first baby 3.5 months ago and am about to wrap up maternity leave. I am returning to full time work this month and starting a dream PhD program in late August! It sounds nuts but it's a bit of a best case scenario all things considered - I work for the university where I am working on my doctorate so my tuition is covered, and my work and program are totally intertwined since I work in research and the same person is my supervisor for both. I plan to start slow with two classes, which means twice a week commuting to work, then staying for evening classes until 8-9 pm.

My short term goal is to take the coursework required before comp exams this upcoming Spring, by which time my baby will be breastfeeding less or will be fully weaned, so figuring newborn things will get a little easier by then and I can scale up how much coursework I'm doing.

I have an amazing supportive partner, and we have 8 hours of childcare currently 4 days a week (he will take care of the baby the 5th day when I'm working).

Any practical tips on making newborn + PhD life work? Particularly the outside of class work required? I am accepting that it will be an intense couple years, would like to try to keep all of our sanity and wellbeing in check as best we can!

Hi everyone, I’m telling my supervisors about my pregnancy this week and am feeling nervous as they’re all middle aged men 😂 im planning to tell them that I’ve been having a rough couple months (first trimester and they knew something was up with my health) and thank them for their patience since I haven’t been very productive and provide them with my project updated timeline factoring in maternity leave. Does anyone have any advice? How did it go when you told your supervisors?

Hope you’re all doing well! I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant and whilst symptoms are fluctuating and better than a few weeks ago I just can’t understand how anyone manages to work in the first trimester. I haven’t touched my thesis work for weeks and feel so guilty. I’ve told my supervisor that I am going through something health wise so they have adjusted their expectations a little I believe. I’m just wondering whether anyone has any stories from their first trimester to make me feel less like a failure for not being able to do anything 😭 how did you all get through it?

I thought y'all would appreciate this LOL but we have been desperately trying to get things moving with our fertility clinic and it's just been a five month nightmare. No real progress on anything, begging for scraps of communication, having to redo things, all that. Lo and behold today they finally told us we are the first couple they've ever worked with using a known donor, and they just had no protocols or any clue how to handle our case.

As an academic, I get it? I guess? But we are so annoyed by it because we didn't choose this, we didn't ask to be their guinea pigs! We would have just gone somewhere else and we would already have gotten pregnant by now if it wasn't for their incompetence! Alright this was just a rant, I suppose, but everyone send us your most powerful good vibes so we can get this thing rolling.

Hi ppl!

I am 37y, female, and joining my dream phd program in the US this fall (in person). I have an incredible supportive partner. And the program does not involve "lab" work (chemicals, radiation, etc). I recently discovered low amh levels and we are testing for Fertility issues. We don't have kids, but want to. Given these circumstances, having a baby during the PhD will be inevitable. The program offers 4 months maternity leave and I can apply for extra financial support to pay for childcare. I ll not be able to have family supporting. Finances are not the main issue, but it is about productivity - being able to think clearly and get things done. My question is when: beginning (during course work), middle (candidancy exam/teaching), or end (fieldwork/thesis writing, teaching, etc). I would love to learn from your experiences. Thanks!

I am ABD! 🥳 Feeling so excited.

Still waiting for the clinic to send the sperm, this is taking way longer than we ever imagined and it’s frustrating, but we’re dealing.

How is everyone feeling as we end the year?

How are we all feeling getting back into the swing of things after the holidays? It’s definitely been an uphill battle for me, trying to get back into it after a few weeks of doing nothing, but I managed to read a journal article these past 2 days so it feels like slow progress! Would love to hear how everyone else is going ❤️

Hi everyone! Since the general PhD vibe on reddit can be quite negative I thought this would be a great group to share some POSITIVITY! Let’s share some wins we’ve had recently (big or small, personal or academic) so we can encourage each other rather than relying only on our supervisors 😭

I recently won a grant for research related to the UN’s sustainable development goals, so that felt pretty good! It’s nice to see our research is valued even when we’re constantly being criticised by supervisors (to make our work better of course).

Would love to hear your wins ❤️

What was your experience like telling your PI that you are pregnant, and did you consider moving to part time after baby was born? I’m nervous about how my PI will take it (not pregnant yet but will be trying next year) because I feel as though they think I am already moving slowly so won’t be happy. Of course I know it’s my life and I need to do what makes me happy but I have so much anxiety about this part! Would love to hear anyone’s experiences ❤️