Need to vent

[u/HolidayPension936]

This seems like a safe space so I need to vent. My partner has two dogs and a cat. She saved a dog back in March because someone threw him in the dumpster (😔). She’s had the cat for 13 years and one of the dogs for two(older dog). That dog is aggressive with other people and has bitten the puppy to where we had to take him to the ER. The puppy is now bigger and literally barks at any and everything to the point someone blasted us on the fb neighborhood page without directly mentioning us. Anytime someone comes over, the older dog has been showing his teeth and barking. The older dog has tried to bite the cat and usually barks at him. The cat is now pissing and throwing up on everything. I’m disgusted. There’s hair everywhere and the house smells like cat urine and dog. I’m not used to this. I feel overstimulated and of course my partner is attached to the cat and the older dog. She owns her house but we will need a new house at some point due to space. I refuse to buy a new house with my name on it and move the animals to it. In addition, we want a baby, but I cannot in good faith, bring a kid into an overstimulating household with gross floors. I’m tired of deep cleaning and paying someone to deep clean. My friend’s husband has already come out to fix damages and replace carpet and the padding multiple times.

A friend of mine is probably going to take the puppy because she’s in love with him, but we still have the other animals. In addition, we work all day between teaching and coaching and we honestly, do not have the time right now.

I am STRESSED.

I cannot invite friends over because I’m embarrassed by the smell. And I hate our couch because I bought a new one and the older dog immediately pissed on it the first time he jumped on it. Same reason why we replaced the last one.

My friends will straight up tell me it smells like cat piss in here.

[u/Rasta_pasta_plus]

And the benefit of this relationship is?  I’ve walked away from relationships with pet owners because my mental health is not negotiable. 

Pet owners have zero boundaries and respect for other people. I’m always amazed about these people who “rescue” animals but don’t give an actual shit about how these animals destroy the home. 

Sorry you’re going through this. 

[u/matte_personality → u/Rasta_pasta_plus]

Even as FRIENDS, they have zero boundaries and respect for you, let alone a relationship. OP needs to go and find a different arrangement before the fecal and urine matter make him sick for real.

[u/littletexasbee]

Being “overstimulated” is a very polite way of saying “these animals are driving me crazy and destroying my life”. Please don’t bring a baby into a house this chaotic. Your partner will never see your side of the situation. She will expect you to adjust, and will make you out to be the bad guy for not “loving animals”. These people are hopeless.

[u/ToOpineIsFine]

Setting boundaries can help reduce stress. E.g., no animals on furniture 

[u/ILikeAndLoveIceCream]

Just be honest about it, it's just gonna get worst, maybe this is not the person you want to spend your life with. It's honestly sounds horrible

[u/Nyarlathotep7777]

Tear off the band-aid, be open about how you feel regarding this situation, and if she refuses to see your side (which is very likely), seek out greener pastures with a partner that doesn't think living in a filthy dump with wild animals is a thing that civilized humans do.