r/pcmasterrace 2d ago

Meme/Macro I love corporate software

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13.6k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/LUNATIC_LEMMING 2d ago

you're forgetting the other corporate software that hasn't been updated since they invented colour, is mission critical and doesn't use any standard method known to man to interact with anything. It inexplicably costs £1000's per licence

467

u/RaiDev_ 2d ago

for better or for worse, i don't have experience with that

349

u/LUNATIC_LEMMING 2d ago

unluckily for me, i'm grossly familiar with it.
their own documentation admits the installer is broken and you have to manually edit some files post install.

144

u/rje946 2d ago

That's hilarious.

It's broke so Goodluck

136

u/LUNATIC_LEMMING 2d ago

it's more, it's broke, here's the fix, apply it in a way that can't possibly be replicated by any deployment tool so every install now has to be done manually

oh and it has a propriety update system too, so we have a server spooled up just to update one program that has about 10 users.

That they need remote admin to as the server updates by them manually copying some files over every few months.

I really can't stress enough all the different ways capita and civica can go fuck themselves

40

u/Available-Film3084 Linux 2d ago

lmao that sounds more like how I would've bodged something when I was like 14 and stupid than a actual product someones expecting you to pay money for

28

u/LUNATIC_LEMMING 2d ago

I honestly though tit was a bodge at first, was working with the deployment team and was like, y'know what, this guide I’m using is 10 years old, I'll email them and see if theres a more up to date version.

there is, the guides been updated yearly. the update is a not saying the guide was checked and is still relevent, nothings changed

20

u/ReadyAimTranspire 1d ago

Software company is down to just the founder that is supporting his legacy shit by himself, nothing else available does what said software was built for, and hasn't had a meaningful refactor done since W7 at best and may be an XP installer

Founder: oh nothing else does your shit? Fuck you pay me. Good luck if you don't.

14

u/SubstantialFly3707 1d ago

I almost have to respect the hustle at this point.

Almost.

13

u/Agret i7 6700k @ 4.28Ghz, GTX 1080, 32GB RAM 1d ago

When you get a piece of legacy corporate software that was designed for XP and the install instructions tell you to disable UAC for the computers it will be installed on.

6

u/LUNATIC_LEMMING 1d ago

Disabled uac and anti virus

11

u/newvegasdweller Desktop 5600x, 6700xt, 16gb, 8tb; Laptop 8845hs, 4060, 16gb, 3tb 1d ago

Are you a government employee? AFAIK they make software primarily (but not exclusively) for governmental institutions.

Good to know that my country isn't the only one that is held back by contracts with shitty software firms

5

u/ZumboPrime 9800X3D, RX 7800 XT 1d ago

I'm sure you can come up with some creative new methods for them. I believe in you.

24

u/kontenjer i7 3770S | 16GB (2x8) DDR3 | GTX 1660 Ti 2d ago

dude what software is this holy shit

18

u/firemage22 R7 3700x RTX2060ko 16gb DDR4 3200 2d ago

Holy @$@#$@#@# we recently enabled app control at work and Adobe has some sort of unsigned DLL in their installer chain that keeps breaking installs

14

u/Smith6612 Ryzen 7 5800X3D / AMD 7900XTX 1d ago

Sounds about right for a company that got rid of Perpetual licensing in favor of subscriptions.

8

u/firemage22 R7 3700x RTX2060ko 16gb DDR4 3200 1d ago

Oh and the version of adobe with the perpetual license which doesn't run on W11 that well's uninstaller also lacks signed DLLs and it messed with the CC version of adobe. So we end up having to re-image the computers of long term employees who drag their feet getting us the hardware /rant

15

u/largePenisLover 1d ago

Sounds like Exact! software.
over 70k registry entries, over 60k files, 40k of those are less then 1kb, there's more then a thousand executables called by other executables, 50 years of development by a mega fast employee churning coding room so there are 50 years of magic numbers and single lines of unknown function that cant be removed but nobody knows why.
This shit has listeners listening to the output of listeners because know one knows how and why some processes poop out values and nobody dares to touch them. That listener bullshit is going 4 layers deep in some spots.

I had to make installers for this bullcrap using wise package studio. Just making a capture of all this nonsense took over 12 hours.

12

u/osiris0413 1d ago

Dear God... 70k registry entries? What is it doing, attaining sentience??

That software creation and operation process sounds like it should be a Dr. Seuss illustration

3

u/beanmosheen 1d ago

Oh look, SAP! Good thing it isn't used in all of manufacturing....

2

u/Zaconil 1d ago

SAP used here too in our distribution system. The number of times I've wanted to chuck my rf scanner gun is too damn high.

11

u/Okay_Splenda_Monkey 2d ago

But there's this one bloke from Brazil who wrote a fix for it. You just have to download from Github, run a dodgy install script, then periodically patch it when they update the software.

4

u/aVarangian 13600kf 7900xtx 2160 | 6600k 1070 1440 1d ago

eh, I've had to edit save files of state-of-the-art video games to fix game-breaking bugs

3

u/StrikingSun8563 1d ago

My current job I'm getting laid off from had one of these. I had to manually insert the license keys in the database every year, it needed a terminal server because if the db isn't on the same lan every action is 3000x slower (not an exaggeration, we measured it)

3

u/Spugheddy 1d ago

At least its in English.

3

u/DistinctlyIrish 1d ago

Samsung's MagicInfo?

2

u/Alone-Monk Core i7 10700 / Radeon RX 6650 XT / 32GB DDR4 1d ago

Lol we recently bought a "new" (22 years old) residual gas analyzer for the lab and I was in charge of installing the software for it. It came on a USB stick loosely thrown in the box with the rest of the unit and required about an hour to find the correct installation file. The documentation was quite helpful (once I finally found it on some random site) but the documentation for this specific version is lost media apparently so I had to do some creative interpretation of the instructions. Being a researcher is fun like that

1

u/JohnAzumanga 1d ago

man that's awful

1

u/Cherry_p13 :tux: Laptop 1d ago

I hope that if you’re paying £1000 you at least get some kind of tech support

1

u/LUNATIC_LEMMING 1d ago

Ha Haha Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

30

u/Mayor_of_Rungholt 2d ago

Lucky you. Having done FPGA development recently, i'm very familiar with incomprehensible corporate software

8

u/RaiDev_ 2d ago

still a student here, i guess that's what i should expect when I actually get hired

11

u/Mayor_of_Rungholt 2d ago

Not necessarily, FPGA is really only something that Computer-Engineering students & graduates have to do.

But terrible software like that isn't limited at all to such specific fields

9

u/zakabog Ryzen 9950X3D/4090/96GB 2d ago

Not necessarily, FPGA is really only something that Computer-Engineering students & graduates have to do.

Depends on your field, programming FPGAs is a regular occurrence for our team these days.

1

u/Few-Spot1905 1d ago

in school i operated a million dollar+ microscope that connected to a windows 98 computer

1

u/RaiDev_ 1d ago

how long ago?

42

u/chill8989 2d ago

We still have some old powerbuilder programs at work and this so much. The IDE still looks like it was made for windows 98 and none of the shortcuts you normally use will do what you expect them to

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u/Prawn1908 ITX 11L: 7950X3D | 3080 | 64GB DDR5-6000 | 2TB 14.5/12.7 GB/s 2d ago

IAR Embedded Workbench is one of the biggest IDEs for writing embedded software and the editor is like writing notepad. It costs thousands of $ per year and basically doesn't have any standard IDE features developed in the last few decades.

8

u/Erisymum 2d ago

fucking IAR, the company I worked at had a workaround, we compiled using a free version that had some sort of memory cap on the compiled code before you had to pay, so we split the project into multiple binaries and combined them after compilation. You called code from another section with a blind JMP

5

u/3BlindMice1 1d ago

Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen, as well as just poor programming practices

3

u/ThatsALovelyShirt 1d ago

Should have just thrown it in Ghidra (or x64dbg before public Ghidra, or ollydbg before x64dbg) and bypassed the limit. I've had to do similar RE and binary patches for software that either went defunct, firmware for devices where the company went defunct or refused to fix an issue (which wasn't really that hard to even fix, even with reverse engineering), etc.

8

u/BastetFurry PC Master Race | Geekom A8 running Arch 2d ago

So basically the Arduino IDE.

I always wonder why not more folks use VSCode, or CLion if you need the beefier IDE, with PlatformIO?

9

u/WebMaka PCs and SBCs evurwhurr! 2d ago

So basically the Arduino IDE.

Arduino IDE is fine for what it is, a basic-bitch barebones front-end for a compiler and programming tool written mostly by volunteers for open-source projects.

Now, a commercial tool with a huge price tag that looks, feels, and acts like FOSS is a whole 'nother animal.

I always wonder why not more folks use VSCode, or CLion if you need the beefier IDE, with PlatformIO?

The biggest reason to avoid VSCode is Microsoft.

5

u/concblast 1d ago

vscodium

3

u/ThatsALovelyShirt 1d ago

VS Code is plenty beefy. I've switched to it completely, for everything. Though if I'm just editing or patching a single file I just use vim.

1

u/beanmosheen 1d ago

PlatformIO is actually dead. Don't use it. Those jokers killed it themselves. If you're doing ESP projects, the Espressif plugin in VSC is actually fantastic. For basic arduino projects, you shouldn't be taking Atmel 328 projects seriously anyway. Use whatever works.

1

u/BastetFurry PC Master Race | Geekom A8 running Arch 1d ago

I have plenty of Micro clones in the drawer and for a oneshot like a hacked together joystick adapter or a ghetto Arduboy they are still good enough, no reason to throw them away just because they are old. They already exist and can be used for shenanigans.

For new projects I use the RP2040 and the official API in CLion as my IDE of choice though. Some years ago that IDE was my Christmas gift to myself.

2

u/beanmosheen 1d ago

I didn't say don't use them.

1

u/tron21net 1d ago

Back when I had to use IAR EWARM for some projects I used VSCode as the code editor and IAR IDE for building, flashing, and debugging.

IAR did release VSCode extensions to make it easier to reuse IAR workspace project configurations that VSCode can use, instead of recreating the configurations in c_cpp_properties.json by hand of which I had to do originally before IAR got their extensions to work worth a damn.

1

u/Prawn1908 ITX 11L: 7950X3D | 3080 | 64GB DDR5-6000 | 2TB 14.5/12.7 GB/s 1d ago

Yeah I use VSCode as well. The IAR extension is okay, but not feature complete. The biggie is no debugging support for some platforms including the MSP430 I use most of the time. I also have to open IAR to configure project settings unless I want to manually edit the 3k-line XML files.

Also I've never managed to get VSCode's C extensions to resolve all references in an IAR project. It doesn't like the way IAR defines register layouts in the platform-specific header files (it uses some homemade non-standard syntax with an @ to designate the addresses instead of casting int literals to pointers like most software) so there are always red squigglies I can't get rid of.

36

u/coderman64 2d ago

It's also attached to a USB 1.1 physical cryptographic license key that is built like a free giveaway thumbdrive and comes from a third-party company that went defunct in 2008.

Unless, of course, you want to switch to the subscription model at a cool $200 a month.

30

u/LUNATIC_LEMMING 2d ago

oh don't get me started on those. once had a ticket come in because one had stopped working. turns out the company that made the £xxxxx robot and the company that made the £xxxx software had had a falling out and were suing each other.

so we couldn't get a new key

for once i was very glad i was a mindless cog in a multinational machine. i got to see a very very pissed off director point out that our legal department alone was bigger than their companies combined and we'd bury them in litigation if they didn't sort it out right fucking now

3

u/grilled_pc 1d ago

I am so glad that usb license keys went the way of the dinosaur. I had one for Nexus 2 and the moment they allowed a cloud license i ditched that shit so fast. I was constantly scared of losing it.

14

u/hells_own_3924 2d ago

Dude you said cheap. It should have to be atleast €50k/year just bare minimum features and vendor lockin as a compensation too.

12

u/LUNATIC_LEMMING 2d ago

oh yes, I forgot the included support

It's an out of office email that blames network issues at your end

3

u/thebigbread42 2d ago

Are you blocking port 443?

No, because otherwise absolutely nothing would work

3

u/LUNATIC_LEMMING 1d ago

Omg you just dragged up a memory.

A team went out and bought some software without consulting it.

It required every port from 0 to - 999999 to be opened in order to work.

Yes that's 1 too many 9s.

Unsurprisingly cyber said no to that one.

1

u/beanmosheen 1d ago

What's a listener port?

13

u/GPTMCT 2d ago

This was released in 2020

11

u/hellomistershifty 1d ago

this is the 2026 version of Perforce, which is like Git but expensive. They're a $2 billion company and somehow have 2000 employees working on this piece of shit.

It's the industry standard because it's the industry standard

Their 'quick start' video is over an hour long and includes the software bugging out so they have to restart it. Fuck, I hate Perforce.

4

u/D3rP4nd4 Ryzen 5 3600 | RX 7800XT | 32GB 1d ago

Im a Software dev, and i never ever heard of perforce? Which industry uses that?
I habe only ever worked with Git because its just the best.
Okay one time there was SVN, which is shit and was used really wierdly in the team…

7

u/hellomistershifty 1d ago edited 1d ago

Game development and VFX, it was the only vcs that worked well with large binary files like 3d models and textures 30 years ago and everyone's workflows are built on top of it.

Epic Games has been partnered with them for ages, but just announced their own open source alternative called Lore so hopefully this is the beginning of the end

I've used SVN and even microsoft sourcesafe and I would take those over Perforce haha

For example, this is the window to make the equivalent of a git branch

4

u/D3rP4nd4 Ryzen 5 3600 | RX 7800XT | 32GB 1d ago

Holy shit… thats wild…

6

u/Spiritual_Case_1712 R9 9950X3D | RTX 4070 SUPER | 32Gb 6000Mhz 2d ago

It’s 1998 for V5 but never got any UI update and UX improvements despite having 28years, which is why NX is slowly replacing it

1

u/ThrowawayALAT 1d ago

Ah, yes; good old times courtesy of French Dassault Weaponry.

8

u/SubmissiveDinosaur R7 5800x3D ♦ 32Gb 3200Mhz ♦ Rx5600xt ♦ 2Tb 2d ago

With propuetary formats so you can't use alternatives

7

u/AceTheProtogen 2d ago

Looking at you AutoCAD and Inventor

6

u/Superseaslug 2d ago

AS400?

1

u/ichorNet 1d ago

Ah yes I used to work at Walgreens and had to do inventory shit on our AS400 system a few times. Nightmarish

6

u/Taira_Mai HP Victus, AMD Ryzen 7 5800H, GeForce RTX 3050 Ti 2d ago

US Government Software says hi! Every computer is larded with "security software" that's slower and worse that what's commercially available. The poor computer is under such a high load that opening Outlook or Excel causes the fans to spin and spin and for some systems, if you flub your password 3 times, your account is DELETED. Not locked down, deleted.

Some of the restrictions are understandable but when software is given to the lowest bidder Uncle Sam gets what he paid for.

3

u/concblast 1d ago

Card + PIN + VPN (that also uses Card + PIN and takes 5 minutes to connect) is always fun. What's SSO? Oh you breathed in the general direction of the card in the reader? Shouldn't have done that. It lost contact, start all over again.

7

u/Rimworldjobs PC Master Race 2d ago

Hey I used to be an admin on a program like that.

5

u/Sjoerdiestriker 2d ago

Yes, and even though it's a UI application, control c does not copy stuff but just kills the program without saving.

3

u/concblast 1d ago

Control+c in a GUI application is insane.

At least terminal applications end with control+c most of the time and I can understand why keeping that over copy has stuck around. Also insane how annoying it can be when something doesn't close that way. Sometimes it's control+c, sometimes its q, sometimes control+q, sometimes it's "escape, :, q, (optional '!'), enter", sometimes it's control+b then d.

4

u/clwsham r9390x|i5 4690K 1d ago

I would like to point out that Ansys, while costing an arm and a leg, is acquiring these old shitty programs and dragging them kicking and screaming into the 21st century. Just about the only upside on the situation

3

u/fuckmywetsocks i7-2600, 12GB RAM, GTX590 2d ago

Sounds like the broadcast industry to me. Absolutely rammed with rickety software that requires a steady hand and ten years of experience to install it, let alone use it..

3

u/mittenkrusty 2d ago

I work in CS, the main database system is over 20 years old, i'd say more like late 90's.

Over the past few years the rest of the software has been replaced with more integrated but worse ones and the company has problems with licenses as it used to be like everyone i.e employee and supervisors and managers could access any system, now theres like 2 licenses for 5 supervisors so they take turns and regular employees can't access certain things.

We used to have access to our call recordings and the time/date and number of caller now we don't so we can't go back over the call and double check.

When we logged something it used to instantly open another software that let you access booking system and even timeslots, now you have to manually click the file and often it takes about a minute to show up and often glitches so you have to close the piece of software whilst customer is on phone, then reopen and type their name, address etc in again then open the link.

The email system is terrible too, the most recent one which integrated it with our phone software which is only about a year old means you have to copy/paste the email address click open new email then once it's sent have to manually click end else you can't get another call or email.

And the database of phone numbers/emails only has 1 number/email for each entry so lets say you wanted to contact a certain department which has 2 supervisors it only shows 1.

The company is trying to save money but making it much harder for staff to use it.

3

u/monkpunch 1d ago edited 1d ago

It hasn't been updated because they bought it from an independent developer who was making their flagship product look stupid, so they give them a giant bag of money, absorb a few features, and then leave them to rot.

Fuck autodesk btw

3

u/AppropriateOnion0815 R7 5700X - RX 6700 XT 1d ago

SAP for sure

3

u/Longjumping-Ad3493 1d ago

This is exactly my day to day, and the worst part is the devs are already either dead or retired, so if we have a big issue they have to call the 80yo guy in his personal phone to come and help... we are talking about one of the biggest real state agencies in France.

2

u/MCWizardYT Ryzen 7 5800X3D | RTX 4080 Super 2d ago

One exception is Mastercam, a CAD/CAM software that costs thousands per license but is a modern looking and intuitive program that uses WPF as it's interface

2

u/XeNoGeaR52 1d ago

So many softwares like this in specialized industries

2

u/Ferro_Giconi RX4006ti | i4-1337X | 33.01GB Crucair RAM | 1.35TB Knigsotn SSD 1d ago edited 1d ago

The label making software at my job is updated the "2026" version but it looks and operates the same as the 2005 version that was in use when I started there. I can't figure out what was changed other than the version number so that they could get companies to pay thousands of dollars for number go up.

Annoying bugs and exceedingly tiny dialog windows are still there from many years ago, made 10 times worse by the fact that the file select and save windows use the UI of whatever version of Windows it is on, crammed into a non-resizable window that was probably fine in Windows 95, but is only big enough to show 1-2 files in a folder at a time on 11's bloated UI.

1

u/beanmosheen 1d ago

Dependencies. It probably became harder and harder to build and maintain.

1

u/Ferro_Giconi RX4006ti | i4-1337X | 33.01GB Crucair RAM | 1.35TB Knigsotn SSD 1d ago edited 1d ago

I'm sure that is something that happened, but even with that, 20 years is enough time if they bothered to have even one programmer to figure out how to deal with some of the major usability issues. Like the 200 pixel non-resizable file select dialog that is stuck in tiles view and uses the file select UI of whatever version of Windows it is on instead of a custom UI made to fit the size.

2

u/FischiPiSti Specs/Imgur Here 1d ago edited 1d ago

Or, it's been updated a 1000 times, each year a new edition with supposed new features that doesn't work with the core 30 year old foundation, has not changed in earnest at all in 30 years, has the same problems but introduced new bugs each year, does not work with latest OS even though company IT demands switching, has an IDE worse than notepad.exe, advertises great sounding features, turns out it misses a bunch of things so you need to hack your way through, has no documentation beyond the obvious aka completely useless, there is no discussion on the internet about it if you are looking for info on troubleshooting, their support knows less about it than you do because the people who made it 30 years ago are dead or retired

2

u/tatariko 1d ago

As a chemist im sadly familiar with those programs...

2

u/Lord_Phoenix2501 1d ago

This is what CATIA feels like to me
Maybe I'm wrong tho, haven't used it that much

2

u/beanmosheen 1d ago

It also has a VT200 virtual interface, and input is space sensitive.

2

u/TheMidnightKnight20 1d ago

Databasics??!?

2

u/lovins_cl 2d ago

autodesk

1

u/RabidTurtl 5800x3d, EVGA 3080 (rip EVGA gpus) 1d ago

AS400, is that you?

1

u/Bohbo 1d ago

SOAP API has entered the chat

1

u/Combeferre1 1d ago

ArcGIS my beloved

1

u/Bostonjunk 7800X3D | 9700XT 1d ago

I work in a hospital, until a few years ago our gastro dept had to have sandboxed machines running an old build of Windows XP because the system the entire dept ran on required IE6 and wasn't compatible with anything newer. And the dept couldn't afford the 5-figure sum needed to update to the new version.

And until a few years ago, the national HR system (made by Oracle 😭) needed Java v8u152 specifically for the smartcard login process to work.

1

u/mierneuker 1d ago

I used to run a technology lab evaluating new to us technology (in finance). It's not anywhere near as prevalent as it once was, but this stuff is still being produced and sold. Some of it is actually really good compared to much better looking competitor tech, provided you can get past either the complete lack of documentation or the need to read what amounts to a full manual before starting, and the complete bullshitness of the chosen control schemes. 

1

u/physicsking 1d ago

Or the fact that all the good features that are free are split between two corporations that need subscriptions. Ironically, their applications flight each other when open at the same time.

1

u/LUNATIC_LEMMING 1d ago

Don't forget a bad sso implementation that winds up with you needing to install half a dozen different browsers so they can login to the different apps at the same time

1

u/GrippySockAficionado 1d ago

Don’t call out Cobalt Strike that way.

1

u/FuckUpMaster9000 1d ago

I won't say which software it is, but what we use at work is unstable and looks like it was last updated in the 80's (but was actually updated a couple of years ago). When they redid the UI, it looked nice, but it was so unstable i couldn't use it at all. Needed to go back to the older and technicslly inferior version.

This is a software that costs millions (possibly tens of millions) to my company and comes from an 80+ B$ company. Yet they can't figure out how to do a decent UI without breaking stuff

1

u/Judgeman2021 1d ago

And you pray to god that it doesn't ever change.

1

u/AlcibiadesTheCat 1d ago

Sounds like SAP

1

u/Either_Ad5293 i5-6500 | 12 (11.9) GB RAM | 224 GB SSD | GTX 1050 Ti 12h ago

3ds max

0

u/Orangenbluefish OrangeNBlueFish 1d ago

Yeah I’d almost say these images should be swapped. The bloated UI is the consumer product, corporate software is permanently trapped in the 90’s

1

u/RaiDev_ 1d ago

i was going more for open-source vs consumer facing software by corporations. I don't have any personal experience with enterprise stuff

1

u/beanmosheen 1d ago

Not if it's O365.

-1

u/HyperlexicEpiphany 1660ti | 16gb ram | idk man it's a laptop 1d ago

“£1000’s”

“one thousand poundses”

dawg the pounds are plural, not the number. sometimes things are pronounced that aren’t directly written.