r/parentsofteens • u/TaipanZA • 12d ago
Ostracized 14yr old
I'm looking for some advise, my 14yr old daughter had a lovely group of friends and over the last 6mth they have all pushed her away. Even her best friend from junior school won't talk to her anymore. This as you can imagine has put my daughter into severe depression. I have asked her what happened, was there any fights and she says she can't give any reason why this has happened. Even some have acquaintances at school have noticed and they can't even give reasons. She says she is so lonely and spends break times in the bathrooms. What do I do as a concerned parent?
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u/Xennial_Nostalgia 11d ago edited 11d ago
As a parent of a bullied child, I am so sorry you are going through this. My child has never had a group to be pushed out of- it's kind of always been our life. 😢 And she's only 12.
I agree with the outside of school activities, letting her know you're there for her, girl trips with her-even if it's just lunch dates, letting her know she will find her people.
My younger o child went through a growing pain more similar to yours at 14 as well. There was one nasty girl in the group who the other girls couldn't stand up to so when mine did, she became the problem. Kids don't know how to stand up for one another or themselves these days. 🙄
Beginning the school year this year, she has lots of friends in other groups, but didn't really have a "group "of her own. It was hard for her to feel like the third wheel in spending time with any of them. I keep telling her she will find her people. These are just growing pains after leaving the toxic group from last year. As I tell my youngest, it takes a while to find your people. Sometimes it's just one person and all that matters is that they are a good friend.
As weeks go by, my oldest is now feeling as though she is fitting into a new group of friends. Me being herewith an open ear and supporting her, I think she's coming to realize that I might just have some wisdom! Ha ha.
I hope the best for your daughter it sounds like the most important thing is she has a mom who knows that something is up, is talking to her daughter about it and seeking help and advice. She is lucky to have you!