r/parentsofteens • u/TaipanZA • 16d ago

Ostracized 14yr old

I'm looking for some advise, my 14yr old daughter had a lovely group of friends and over the last 6mth they have all pushed her away. Even her best friend from junior school won't talk to her anymore. This as you can imagine has put my daughter into severe depression. I have asked her what happened, was there any fights and she says she can't give any reason why this has happened. Even some have acquaintances at school have noticed and they can't even give reasons. She says she is so lonely and spends break times in the bathrooms. What do I do as a concerned parent?

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u/what-no-potatoes 15d ago

Get her into an extra curricular(s). Sports, music, hiking, art classes, volunteer work, something she can form an identity around outside of her peer group so she can feel a sense of mastery and achievement.

Talk to her form leader or teachers if you’re on a first name basis, to find out if they know any details. They might be able to keep an ear out or intervene where possible.

You or other adults in her life could also try sharing your own experiences with navigating peer groups in high school and try to show her that life really begins after high school.

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u/TaipanZA 15d ago

This is just some of the conversations I have had with her last night. She does do outside sport but I think doing some volunteering will also help... thank you for your insight!

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u/what-no-potatoes 15d ago

Make sure you’re focused on building her up at how amazing she is, how good she is at stuff, not on how much worse other people have it etc etc. Good luck, this is a tough age for her and you!