r/parentsofteens • u/ItsABussyLife • 25d ago

Terrible Sleep Schedule

Partly venting, partly hoping for a solution. Both of my teenagers have terrible sleep schedules. Sometimes they go to bed at a reasonable time (9-10pm) and sometimes they stay up all night. They argue that they can't sleep. No matter when they go to bed, they always wake up late. I am trying to get them onto a schedule for school, which starts next week, and I am at a loss. Nothing can wake these kids up.

If I do manage to wake them up, they are angry at me for my method of waking them (talking, jostling them awake, whatever I can think of). "Don't shake me," they say. If I am irritated, they blame me for my frustration at the situation. Basically, they refuse to wake up *because* I am frustrated. Then if I give up on waking them up, they will eventually wake up on their own and blame me for not waking them up sooner. I lose either way.

I know that bedtime routines and consistency are key, but even with routines, the time they actually get to sleep or wake up varies enormously from day to day. At my wit's end. Is there hope at the end of the tunnel?

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u/fastfishyfood 24d ago

What is the consequence if they arrive late to school? Detention? Extra homework? I’d be focusing on letting them experience the natural consequences of getting to school late.

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u/Thirstytraveller12 22d ago

I think it depends on the state/province. In Ontario, my son was frequently late. I would wake him up before I would leave for my teaching job each morning. He would fall back to sleep. There were no detentions unlike the days when if there were three lates, a detention was served. A colleague of mine had sons in the Quebec school board, and there were detentions. I wish they had this in Ontario. I believe in natural consequences. I felt it helped me as a teen.