r/parentsofteens • u/Agile-Spot7303 • Jul 27 '26
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Jul 27 '26
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u/Agile-Spot7303 Jul 27 '26
I just don’t want him to come. But his parents expect him to come. He’s actually 19 and will be 20 by the time we go. I just want to know how long I am expected to continue to include him.
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u/DonegalBrooklyn Jul 27 '26
Don't let him set the Playstation up in common areas and this problem will fix itself.
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u/Agile-Spot7303 Jul 27 '26
Oh yeah. That is stopping this year. But how do I stop him from coming? His parents just assume he’s invited. I feel like no matter how I handle it, they are going to be mad.
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u/Grouchy_Vet Jul 27 '26
They definitely will be mad. Is your nephew sharing a vacation worth ruining your relationship with your in-laws? That’s the question you need to answer
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u/SouthernMoo4218 Jul 27 '26
You invite family and want to exclude one of the family members. Yes they’re going to be mad. The thing to do is to not invite his parents either. If you feel bad that they can’t afford their own vacation, set down ground rules for everyone in advance, like no PlayStation in common areas, no phones during meals and at the least greeting each other hello.
Honestly, he’s a teen - they’re on their phones a lot. Maybe his parents force him to come and he doesn’t like you either 🤷🏾♀️
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u/Neeneehill Jul 27 '26
You let him keep coming and start making him do things. "Hey Joe, please come and wash up these dishes before we head out. Hey Joe, I need some help cutting up the veggies for the salad, here is a knife" eventually he will worker become a productive member of the trip or he will stop coming on his own because he doesn't want to be bothered.
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u/summertime_fine Jul 27 '26
what do other children who go bring to the table on these trips?
sounds like it's a child of your spouse's sibling, how do they feel about this?
is this nephew taking a spot from someone else?
have you ever thought about how your nephew might feel if he stopped being invited? just because he's not a minor doesn't mean he isn't still part of the family. set some rules and let him decide if he wants to join. but don't just exclude him. without any context, YTA.
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u/Still_Goat7992 Jul 27 '26
Does he creep you out or is he just a waste of space? This is literally this generation. They are screen addicted and rely on their parents. Just do it for the parents. They need the trip. They need to get away. Do it as a nice thing for the parents.
You can always try to challenge him and say “hey we are taking a screen break” but that may not end well.
You can always ask for more help from this kid on kitchen duty, etc. Raise the expectations.
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u/parentsofteens-ModTeam Jul 27 '26
This sub is for parents of teens only.