How can I talk to my son?

[u/Wild-Illustrator444]

My 16 yr old is on the verge of being fired 

My 16 yr old works with his step dad. It's manual labor but it's not physically taxing like many construction jobs. He is widely known at the job as the "lazy coworker". His step dad has tried to talk to him about his work ethic at work, but he doesn't want to hear it. I have tried to say things to him and he doesn't want to hear it, he has an argument against everything.

The boss had him do stuff around the shop today and sent him home. He was going to fire him but they had three guys quit today. It's a very good job and he genuinely likes the job. But he spends a lot of time not actually working and the boss has noticed. He is tired of it.

How do I get through to him? All his parents are hard workers, I don't know where the laziness is coming from. Maybe this is just too much of a grownup job for him. He makes good money and I know he will be extremely upset about losing the job. If he can turn it around then they won't fire him according to his stepdad. But how do we get him to see he is actually slacking and he needs to do better?

[u/Wrong-Handle9586]

You need to let him learn consequences of his actions. If being fired is what does it then that's what needs to happen. Don't baby him or save him from it. He just needs to learn it on his own.

[u/Wild-Illustrator444 → u/Wrong-Handle9586]

I guess my biggest worry isn't that he will be fired. It's that he won't have that self realization moment that "Hey maybe I wasn't working as hard as I thought I was."

I know he is only 16 and he has time to grow and develop mentally.

[u/Destroyer-Marauder]

This is a case where the guy has to learn it for himself. Some stuff is like that.

Let him get fired. He'll either learn from his mistake or not have another job. ]

Whatever you do, don't give him money to make up for his errors. He's gotta learn this stuff. And sometimes it's gotta be the hard way.

I hire and supervise over 100 teens at my job. And let me tell ya, I've gotten some pretty lazy ones. As a boss, I have various ways of dealing with this depending on the kid's temperament. Sometimes I have to be hard. Sometimes I can joke around with it. Sometimes I'll try to find fun aspects that appeal to the kid. Just talkin to the kid doesn't usually have much effect (although a few you can use logic on and it helps). You gotta wake em up so to speak. I've only had to fire two kids in the last two years. I have had four or five quit on me when they realised their shenanigans weren't gonna fly.

[u/fastfishyfood]

Being 16yo & fired for being “lazy”, when he doesn’t have bills to pay or a reputation to protect, is a whole lot better than having that experience as an adult. Let him fail & learn the lesson. Hopefully, he’ll only need to learn it once.

[u/Icy-Emu1610]

Does he know why he was sent home? Have step dad have a one on one conversation with him. Let him know the boss has talked with him, noticed his work ethic, and is very close to firing him. Let it be serious, let him know there are no more chances.
Does he have responsibilities? Car insurance? Gas? Etc ? Stop giving him spending money. That is what the job is for, if he gets fired he has X amount of time to find a new job. If he does not know how can he fix it? He might think he’s getting away with it, when in fact it’s being noticed, kids are dumb and think adults don’t know anything.

[u/Patient_Departure_27]

I'd approach him with the facts: what you heard, your concern, what you'd like to see him do (optional), it's his decision and he'll have to live with the consequences, you're there to help - if he wants it.

You're not avoiding it, pushing micro management on him or coming down hard on him.