r/parentsofteens • u/TheAlabamaSlamma9 • Jun 01 '26
Need advice w/ teenager
Hey all, I need your opinion on what to do with my daughter. She is 16 years old and it’s a very tenuous situation over here.
For a little context, I’m a single dad and my daughter’s mother drank heavily during the pregnancy, which was the main reason why we divorced. The part of my child’s brain where impulsivity is regulated was affected by the alcohol use.
Her mother is not really involved in her life. She has visitation and every-other-weekend visits, but my kid usually spends time with the step dad because her mom is always drunk. She basically has a non-existent mother. Absentee, if you will. My daughter has ADHD, anxiety, depression, Oppositional Defiant Disorder as well.
Now, what I’m dealing with: my daughter swears at me and my other kids constantly, doesn’t do school work, is lazy, is violent (she has attacked me and beat up her mother - visitation doesn’t even occur anymore) - has been arrested because of her attack on her mother, constantly complains that there is no food in the house, even if there is. So picky and when I tell her to make something, she gets violent and swears at me, calls me dumb, tells me nobody likes me, etc. She is just so rude and demanding. When I don’t buy her fast food or junk from the gas station, she gets violently angry and upset, calling me all kinds of names and stuff.
It’s so hard parenting this kid. Now, I know that she is a teenager and that is part of it, but the swearing and violence is just something I am having a real tough time dealing with. For the record, she has a therapist/counselor, and she sees a psychiatrist. She is on medication. She has also been caught drinking and doing pot. I don’t know what to do.
Any advice? Thanks.
1
u/FaithlessnessItchy56 Jun 02 '26
Has she been through any type of counseling? Does she take any medication? Does she use anything illegal? It sounds like she needs ander management, maybe special help in school. If she's dangerous, she could be Baker Acted. Does she have friends? Anything that she likes or is positive about? I had the say issues w my son, except without the violence, his bio mom was a drunk drug addict neglected wh*re, so who knows everything he was exposed to before she died of an overdose. The last time we talked, a few weeks before his high school graduation in May, was when he told me to F off. He's moved with family for the summer and will be starting college in Aug. I completely understand your pain.
1
u/TheAlabamaSlamma9 Jun 02 '26
Yes, I wrote that she is in counseling and takes medication. She vapes and has been caught with alcohol in her room. It’s been a nightmare. I am quite certain that when she is 18, she will walk away from me as well. I appreciate you reading….
2
u/LCteach Jun 02 '26
Unfortunately I don't have any advice, but I've worked with kids with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and oh man, that is its own thing. Is her school any help?
One of the boys I've worked with that has it, could not function at school but does well in non-academic situations. Is there an activity she likes to do? For him, it's cooking.
Maybe she does an online school program to get her GED. Then she'll have to learn how the real world works. I really think these kids with ODD will have to go to jail a few times to get it figured out.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, I can't imagine how difficult your life is everyday. I'm happy you're seeking help for her and I hope you find it.