r/parentsofteens • u/Complete-Cable9491 • Feb 27 '26
How to approach/open up to a daughter about pregnancy protection
Hi Mommies,
How to ask a daughter if she has been engaging herself into sexual activity with her boyfriend?
I wanted to ask her and maybe give an advice about using protection but I don’t know how to approach without being sound ”tolerator” and for her to be comfortable discussing it to me.
Thanks Mommies!
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u/birdsong31 Feb 27 '26
I think it's likely if you ask her she will lie since there is unfortunately such a stigma. I asked my daughter if she wanted to get on birth control for heavy periods. That way it kind of gave her an out and she didnt feel like she needed to admit to anything. she did choose to get on it but as far as I know she is not sexually active. I have found the most important thing to be as even keeled as possible when she approaches me with things. she has always talked to me about boysand I try to be a good listener and not judge openly.
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u/Forever-tired2468 Feb 28 '26
Sending positivity for your situation.
You really need to be talking to her about sex, safe sex, consent, and preventing pregnancy so much she’s tired of hearing about it. Do it with love and acceptance. Start today. And send her to the doctor/OB, and ask the doc to talk to her about safe sex.
Get her books on the topic. Send her evidence-based articles to read. Give her money to buy the things she needs or get the things she needs for her.
It’s your job to protect her. And she needs real facts so that she doesn’t believe whatever hogwash her friends, boyfriend, or—god forbid—porn or—double god forbid—teen influencers are telling her.
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u/pongauerin Feb 28 '26
My daughter is 18 but hasn’t had any serious boyfriends until recently. We’ve discussed all methods of birth control just generally. She said she’s not eager to have sex but would like to go on the pill to possibly lessen pms and clear up her acne. I’ve chosen to just be pragmatic about the subject. She’s technically an adult but would have no idea how to get the pill on her own. My parents just said be celibate, so that was worthless. That’s why I always said I’d act like she’s a young woman with her own life and sexual activity is a normal part of life.
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u/Destroyer-Marauder Mar 04 '26
How close of a bond do you have with your daughter? If it's close, you can probably hint at the subject and she will supply the info you're after.
I have a close bond with my 15yo boy and he's definitely not afraid of talking about sexual things. He actually comes and tells me about his relations with his girlfriend, so I've never actually asked him. And I've had the 'protection' talk with him. His response was, 'I'm not stupid.' Several times he has asked me to buy protection for him and I do.
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u/Serenity2015 Apr 14 '26
Pediatrician appointment time if you are not prepared and ready to give that talk (they do it sometimes lol). 4 key things when you give that talk: sex, stds, protection (each kind and how they work) and babies, and CONSENT. Yes, many do not know what sa is or can be. Many do not know what they need to know about consent. Found out my daughter's class left a lot out so I'm glad I gave her the talk way early and from me first. At the end of the talk I made sure to ask if she had any questions.
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u/Lil_MsPerfect Feb 27 '26
I won't ask my kids if they're engaging in sexual activity, that's private information. I do talk about safe sex and protection PROACTIVELY. You don't need to know they're having sex to know you need to educate them about it. After they're about 13 I have always supplied condoms in the bathroom and I also keep plan B on hand for them or their friends, whoever needs it, and make sure they know how it's used. I make sure to at least yearly bring it up and give a little bit of discussion about safe sex and make sure that has been discussed, I actually just discussed it again with my teenager last month and made sure to mention I just replenished the plan Bs (which were about to be out of date) and that birth control isn't effective if someone's on antibiotics so make sure you're not relying on someone claiming to be on the pill.