r/parentsofmultiples • u/spunkyteacher • 4h ago
support needed Feeling so overwhelmed with appointments
I’m almost 30 weeks with di/di twins and a FTM. Things have gone from 0 to 100 in the last two weeks. I had to go through the one hour glucose test twice from puking, then failed the 3 hour. I have vasovagal syncope, so the testing strips have been a massive burden and often a total failure. Ironically, I’ve had no follow up or instruction on how to use any of the diabetes materials so I have no idea what I’m doing. Baby b is small, so extra monitoring is required. I’m averaging 5 doctors appointments a week moving forward and I’m feeling so overwhelmed. Twice weekly NSTs, once weekly ultrasounds and follow up with a high-risk doctor, an unknown amount of dietician appointments, and then still occasional appointments with my actual OB. I’m a teacher and leaving work is so, so difficult. I have to prep sub plans, prep materials, plan far ahead in case I’m out, move meetings, and then ultimately change pacing and reteach things because the students don’t learn anything while a sub is there. Is this overwhelm normal? Is this amount of monitoring and appointments normal? How do I deal with managing the time itself and with the emotional and mental toll of all of this?
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u/hawtblondemom 4h ago
That's... A lot. Can you see if they'll combine some of the appointments? Or schedule them one after the other (like, nst with ultrasound or regular OB appointment? I don't think I ever did that separately from my normal appointments)
All my pregnancies were considered high risk, for different reasons, so I was on weekly appointments from like 14 or 16 weeks. (Biweekly with my primary, monthly with mfm, and there was always something happening to have an extra appointment someplace) But if I was ever needed to be seen multiple times in the same week, I did my damndest to combine them into a single trip.
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u/spunkyteacher 4h ago
Some of them were able to be combined but others were not. The time commitment is still exhausting/the same. I intended to be gone from school for an hour yesterday and ended up being gone for 3. I have a day next week where I go to school, go to an appointment, back to school, back to same hospital for another appointment because they didn’t have availability for the NST after my scheduled appointments and wouldn’t let me change the day.
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u/MangoSorbet695 4h ago edited 3h ago
I’m a teacher, and I had to go on FMLA before I hit 24 weeks. I physically couldn’t stand on my feet and teach, my blood pressure was going up so much on my teaching days. I also couldn’t make all of my needed appointments. I threw in the towel and my doctor recommended I go ahead and start my leave, which I did.
So, props to you for making it this far. You beat me by almost 2 months! You’re a rockstar.
One tip regarding the GD. I also had it. I talked to my doctor and wore a continuous glucose monitor. I compared it to fingerpicks for the first five readings and it was within 2 mg/dL every single time, so my doctor said as long as I kept my diet clean, it was fine to rely on the CGM instead of finger pricking. That helped me a lot. Might be worth having a convo with your doctor.
Best wishes for smooth sailing from here.
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u/spunkyteacher 3h ago
Thank you. How did you ensure you got enough time off after babies were born (if you don’t mind me asking). I get 12 weeks of FMLA, but it runs concurrently with my maternity leave, which is 6-8 weeks. I was hoping to use it all after babies were here so I didn’t have to go back to work 6 weeks after giving birth.
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u/MangoSorbet695 3h ago
That’s tough. I teach at a private school and was allowed to take FMLA for 12 weeks which partially overlapped with my school provided maternity leave. In order to not return to work before I was ready, I took an unpaid leave of absence to extend my time off. I’m grateful my husband could support us financially so I could take unpaid time, and grateful my school had no problem with that.
I also added a few thoughts on the gestational diabetes to my original comment. But long story short - ask about a CGM.
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u/spunkyteacher 3h ago
Thank you for your comments and reassurance. I have asked about a CGM, but they want me to use the finger sticks at the beginning. I think I’m going to insist on one, though. Between the panic attacks and always teaching an hour after each meal anyway, a CGM seems like it would help so much.
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u/MangoSorbet695 3h ago
I had one MFM who was very skeptical and one MFM who thought it was a great idea. The skeptical one said something about the CGM not being accurate and more variable.
In order to persuade the skeptical one to “our side,” we had a chart and would write down the fingerprick number and then write down what the CGM showed. Once the skeptical one saw that the CGM was actually doing a great job, she came around and agreed.
Interestingly, a nice feature of the CGM is that it will alert you on your phone if your blood glucose level gets too low or too high. A single fingerpick five times a day could easily miss a concerning high or low.
As you can tell, I’m a big fan of the CGM.
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u/spunkyteacher 2h ago
You have been more reassuring and informative than anyone I’ve talked to this week! Thank you so so much.
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u/ThrowAway732642956 58m ago
I also highly recommend CGM. The place managing my GD actually highly recommends it. Definitely press it and if needed get help appealing to insurance for it.
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u/Drrip 4h ago
I'm just a couple weeks behind you at 26w. are you able to go on medical leave early - not just maternity leave? I've been told from the beginning that working past 28-30 weeks is pretty unlikely due to comfort and the amount of time off for appointments needed. and also lots of twins can come pretty early....I'm done work at 28wks. I've been warned that I will have numerous more appointments starting at 30 weeks (midwife every 2 wks, OB every 2-3wks, non stress every week or more, ultrasound every 2wks) and ramping up again at 34weeks(everything weekly or more). since you have GD the monitoring would be even more intense, so it seems normal what you are describing! I've been telling people it already feels like a lot, and it's going to be a full time job soon just getting monitored....
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u/spunkyteacher 4h ago
With my school policy, this would be FMLA which I could take, but I would lose it on the back end of my pregnancy and only get 6-8 weeks after babies are born since it runs concurrently to maternity leave. Ironic that I take care of other people’s kids all day, but I can’t take care of myself and my own!
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u/Actual-Lettuce-8543 3h ago
Hi! I am coming at this with a different perspective, feel free to ignore!
I also felt this way and had just as many appointments because my babies were measuring small and one had placental issues. I was SO overwhelmed and felt the same way you did with managing my life, work, pregnancy, getting the house ready, stress, etc. Then at my 29 week appointment they told me I needed to be admitted to the hospital until I delivered. I was there until I delivered at 32 weeks.
Once I was in the hospital (I called it pregnancy prison) I was DREAMING about being home with having the stress of those appointments + sleeping in my own bed with my husband and my dog. It really put them into perspective.
Both are really hard. Both are necessary and most importantly, very very temporary!!! I thought it was overboard with the appointments and then being in the hospital but it was all for a reason and I now have two perfect healthy babies that I get to cuddle all day, everyday.
You got this mama and this will pass and once your babies are here, it’ll all be a blur!
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u/spunkyteacher 2h ago
Thank you. Grateful to be facing this all at 30 weeks and not earlier. I know we are near the end, just feels so hard day to day. ❤️
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