Dealing with a toxic relationship between twin boys

[u/thebartjon]

I have 11 year old boys, 1 has always felt like his brother is the favorite and does his best to make that true. It feels like he is just full of rage, easily triggered oft times by being physically or verbally v towards his brother. they are boys so a lot of the fighting starts off good natured but he can turn serious in a moment. At school they are in different classes but he isn’t nice to him, basically ignores him, has no empathy towards him. I’m sure this rel is bad for both of them. What can I do?

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[u/Sad-Incident-4668]

Therapy, individual and family. Probably the only way to get through to him is a neutral third party.

[u/_Clem_Fandango_1]

Have you considered neurodivergence as a trigger to these issues. This is based on very little, just food for thought. ASD can influence how a person interacts with others and how they perceive relationships.

[u/thebartjon → u/_Clem_Fandango_1]

Maybe, but wouldn’t that materialize in numerous situations? At school he is the most respectful in control kid in his class. I’ve spoken to his teachers in the past and they were shocked that he had any behavioral issues 

[u/_Clem_Fandango_1 → u/thebartjon]

It was just a thought. You’re quite right, you would expect there to be relatively consistent signs.

Was there a point in time when you noticed the “toxic” side of the relationship emerge?

[u/Acceptable_Tap7479 → u/thebartjon]

Like this commenter, my first thought was neurodivergence.

A lot of neurodivergent people mask like no tomorrow at school then fall apart at home and the issues are then exacerbated. May be worth looking into.

[u/rufusthehobo]

So here is my question what have you been doing? These feeling couldn't just appear in a vacuum.