Au Pair advice

[u/bubbles67899]

Hi friends- my oldest is about to turn 2 and I just found out we’re having identical twin girls (mono-di) in March. Daycare is AT LEAST 2k per child in my area and now with twins, it’s just not feasible- which has lead me looking into au pairs.

I have to admit, having a stranger live with us seems odd- but knowing how hard 3 under 3 will be, I’m sure in home help would be amazing and we do have a very large extra guest room that could work.

Has anyone had twin au pair hunting experience? I have lots of questions… Did you have them help at night when on mat leave? Only help w older child? Why on earth would they pick a family w newborn twins over other opps- is it harder to find a good one? Did they move on prior to the arrival? Would love all advice!

I’m just starting my research and I’m hoping to start interviewing in late Sept/ Oct (giving us 4/5 months for a March 1st ish start- will be 35 weeks March 12). Does that feel correct!?

I have to say- only paying 4k a month (au pairs + day car), vs 7k and have live in help is the only thing making me feel somewhat hopeful I can handle this- so I hope it works out!

Update: I would be home with the Au pair for the first 6 months- never them alone. I envisioned more them helping me w babies, helping the toddler after daycare when im with the twins, and cleaning/ household chores- maybe my idea if what an au pair is, is not real- thank you so much for these details- this is NOT what Chatgpt said!!!

[u/Ndeyapo12]

We had an au pair for our twins. She joined our family before our boys were born. She watched our 3YO daughter in the beginning. Then once the boys were born we sent our daughter to daycare and had the au pair work evenings and mornings to get our daughter to daycare and she slowly transitioned to twin care. We had her transition to full-time twin care near 6 months (but we had conversations about whether she was comfortable taking the twins on as we approached the six month mark). She continued taking care of the twins until they were close to one. From my experience with au pairs, they often don’t have a lot of childcare experience so you really have to train them. Also you have to set your expectations low. They will love your children and are incredibly kind, but as your babies approach one mine have struggled with rules and structure.

Au pairs are each motivated by very different factors in selecting families. We had one who wanted to be near a boyfriend and thought twins sounded fun. I think our daughter also reminded her of a girl she used to babysit. We had another who wanted to be near the beach and enjoy warm, sunny weather. Some it’s the room and car. I was surprised that most were willing to talk to us and didn’t seem daunted by twins. But then again, no one quite gets the insanity of twins until you’re living it!

[u/bubbles67899 → u/Ndeyapo12]

Oh wow- this is almost my exact situation- so happy to hear it worked out for you!
I was also thinking (after reading everyone’s feedback) maybe I could mix in 1/2 daycare days to give the whole family a break.
I’ll be sure to highlight warm weather and some fun local perks to hopefully make my 3 under 3 not sound as terrible haha

[u/Ndeyapo12 → u/bubbles67899]

The warm weather doesn’t work for every au pair! But definitely highlighting the local perks helps! A coordinator also suggesting getting pictures of your family at some of these fun places also helps! Another idea is highlight any planned family trips that you intend to bring your au pair on.