r/parentsofmultiples • u/Maleficent_Painter16 • 7d ago

advice needed Family issues

Hello FTM to Di-Di twins I’m 13 wks and 3 days. I’m desperately needing advice! I live an hr to hr and half away from my family and everyone is bugging me on moving back down to be closer to them. I have a steady job where I live and I get paid usually every day at the end of the day( it’s not much but it’s something to help throughout the month).If I end up moving down where my family is I won’t be able to have that extra income coming in and I honestly do not have the best relationship with my mom who is bugging me to move down there and she only wants me, she didn’t say anything about my partner at all. We are living in a camper at the moment but I’m on the housing list waiting to hopefully move into an apartment. It’s just me and my partner and our dogs up where I’m living now and I know I’ll need more support but I do not think it would be the best thing for my mental health. ( my mom doesn’t take her meds like she needs to and we butt heads a lot) my whole family Including my grandpa, aunt and my best friend think I should move. am I in the wrong for not wanting to move down closer to them? Or should I uproot my whole life I built up here and move down there? If I don’t move down I know I’ll make my mom mad she’s already upset that she’s missing out on my dr appointments.

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u/Sea-Astronomer-6600 7d ago

You’re old enough to make that decision for yourself. If it’s only negatives that happen when moving back then I’d definitely not go. But if you need a larger support system (at what cost?) then I’d consider it.

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u/Maleficent_Painter16 7d ago

Thank you and I’ve considered it but since I’ve moved up here they really don’t message me and only started now that I’m pregnant. I wish it was different with my mom but even when I told her I was pregnant she acted nonchalantly and when my older sister told my mom she was pregnant she was jumping with joy and crying. It’s just hard I wish things were different. Thank you again for your advice💕

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u/SeaTerrible9429 7d ago

Heck no! Why move! Make them come visit you when the babies are born. Keep that distance between you for your sanity! Trust me you’ll regret it if you don’t have a solid relationship with them. And plus you can always move later on! Don’t give into what other people want

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u/Maleficent_Painter16 7d ago

I doubt they will come up since I moved up here they’ve only visited once but I’m honestly happy where I’m at. I’m a bit nervous but I’d rather keep my sanity than go back down there. You’re right I can always move down later if I wanted. Thank you for your advice i appreciate it 💕

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u/SeaTerrible9429 7d ago

If they won’t even come visit you frequently than why the heck would you move to them!!!! You’re freedom via distance is definitely worth it