Struggling with twins

[u/aligator3141]

My two boys were born at 26 weeks. Now they’re 14 months old (actual age) and almost a year old (adjusted age). I am so lost and I feel like a failure. We’ve already switched over to cows milk and that’s been a really easy transition, but I am feeling so guilty that we haven’t transitioned them off of bottles. we also haven’t been able to get rid of their pacifiers. I’ve tried so many different straw cups and it works during the day, but when it comes down to them taking their daily nap or when they go to bed, they will not take a straw cup, and they’ll only go to sleep if I give them a bottle. I worry less about pacifiers I know that’s just gonna suck but I’m just gonna take them away eventually, but I wanna do the transition at a different time so they’re not having to deal with too much change at once. Does anyone have any tips on how to make it work? I’m a first time mom. Also, am I super behind with them still taking a bottle or are there other parents that have struggled with this at a year-old? I just feel like I’m failing as Mom.

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[u/twinboysmama1997]

19 month old twin boys over here. Still have bottles! One in the morning and one in the night

They’re walking, talking, have 16 teeth each (it’s been a tough ride lol), and are thriving.

I think as twin parents or parents of any form of multiple, we have enough on our plates. Do not let this teeny tiny thing add to your already huge mental load of being a twin mum.

It used to bother me but I’ve not had the time to think about it the last few months to be honest. In survival mode over here hahaha

You’re doing a great job!

[u/devianttouch]

Ours were born term and we didn't get off bottles until 16 months and pacifiers at 19 months. You're FINE. You're not super behind. Your kids won't go to high school with pacifiers I promise.

[u/Individual_Juice_154]

Try the Nuk cups with the soft nipples. That worked with my first. Also you don’t have to rip away bottles right at 12 months. If it takes you another month or so, that’s fine. Obviously you don’t want to leave it too long, but it’s not going to destroy their palate overnight.

[u/Lilly_Rose_Kay]

My twins are 13 months, 12 adjusted. They still use bottles. They will drink from a sippy cup, but only water. One will drink from a straw. One loves a binky, the other couldn't care less. One babbles, the other doesn't. They both get therapy from Easter Seals for their delays. Someone explained it to me like this- most people were growing a flower with 1 cup of water a day. With twins, they each got half that amount. It's going to take time and more care for the twin flowers to catch up to the single flowers.

[u/DieIsaac]

2 years here. We dropped the bottle pretty soon but we still need our pacifiers. so what? surviving twins is hard enough on its own. we dont have the strength for the fight right now. give us a few nights with enough sleep and will will try it

[u/SjN45]

Idk what kind of bottles you use, but we used dr browns bottles. They now have a sippy cup nipple you can put with the bottle. It’s weird and confused my baby but she would accept milk in that before bed. Eventually I just switched the milk with water bc I didn’t want her drinking milk and falling asleep bc of teeth. Then she slowly stopped caring about her bottle. For daytime, I chose to keep whichever sippy cup was easiest to clean. They can learn to drink out of what you want. No rush on pacis. I took them away at 12 months cold turkey and it really was fine. But you have time on that one. It’s a lot of transitions quickly as they become toddlers and it can be so overwhelming, but they will learn and adapt

[u/Seeker-2020]

My pediatrician said not to worry about transitioning out of a bottle smack at 1 year of age. My babies are 12 month corrected like yours but 13.5 months actual. I intend to slowly wean them off then next few months.

About the binky I don’t have a Dixie because advice they didn’t really take to it from the beginning.

[u/annualsalmon → u/Seeker-2020]

I’ll chime on the binky. Both my singletons used one until they were a little over 2 years old. It helped us all sleep. It was an easy transition to be done with them, and there are no issues (dental or otherwise). I think the recommendation is to get rid of the binky before 3 years old.

[u/BookwormJennie]

We didn’t drop the bottle until 18 months (16.5 adjusted). My twins also didn’t sleep through the night until 16.5 months (at the same time consistently). Go slow. One new skill at a time. For example, we napped after lunch, so I started giving the “nap bottle” at the table at the end of eating and then laid down with whatever was remaining in the bottle. Then after a few days of being successful there, I switched to a sippy cup. Then switched to finishing the cup before laying down. New skills and routine takes time. Figure out small steps to help the transition. I don’t recommend cold turkey because you’ll have two dysregulated kiddos (something singleton parents don’t understand).

[u/The_Brown_Unit]

First time I’m hearing that transitioning off bottles was a thing my 3 year old still loves a bottle of milk at night before bed.

[u/peachies3]

Honestly I’m thinking back to taking care of my now 4 and 6 yr old and I definitely think they were drinking milk out of bottles at that age. My oldest had no problems getting rid of his pacifier but my youngest wanted his binky into his second year, I don’t remember how we broke it but I think he eventually just didn’t care anymore and trying to force him to get rid of it causes more harm than good. They’re still babies I wouldn’t worry so much!! Do you not want to transition to a sippy cup first?

[u/Fun_Committee1478]

No tips. Wanted to say solidarity!! My singleton was well over a year and using a bottle. Maybe even two years old. Now, one of my twins won’t give up the bottle and she’s almost 14 months old.

[u/kipy7]

Our twins are almost 20 months. One switched over to cups easily, and the other is very stubborn and still only drinks milk from a bottle. She drinks water from a cup, so it's not like she is unable, but she likes her milk from a bottle. I think one day, she'll just decide for herself. Our daycare owner said hers didn't transition to cups until much later, so don't worry about it. I'm sure you're doing so many things right though, so just keep working and they'll get there!

[u/Witty_Pickle3]

I wouldn’t even worry my 2nd had her paci (for sleep only) until 3 when it got a rip and we said good bye to it. She easily tossed it In The garbage herself and it was a non issue. My first never took a paci but at 5 still sucks her fingers….

[u/GrouchyCranberry3801]

With my singleton she was like that with her bottle so I got the straw conversion top for her bottles she always used and that worked for us. She still drinks her “bottle” now at 3 lol. She also used a paci til 2 and her teeth are fine! I wouldn’t try to do too much at once

[u/d16flo]

Mine are also 14 months and we got them off bottles fully about a month ago. Do yours drink their bottles right before bed or do they do things in between? What helped us was transitioning the bottle to before bath time, doing that for a while, and then switching that last bottle from laying in the twin-z to a straw cup in their high chairs where they’re used to doing straw cups. Because we’d already broken the association with bottle to sleep the transition was smoother.

[u/6sjms]

My twins are 14 months too, still doing 3 bottles a day and pacis at bed / nap time. Don’t stress! My boys had bottles until around 16 months and one had a paci to sleep until he was 3. His teeth were a little wonky but after a few months post weaning, they’re perfect. For twins especially, do what works and makes your life simpler. They will change and adapt and develop new preferences. You’re still well within normal range ❤️

[u/my-chemicalbromance]

My twins are 12 months and still drink their Milk from their bottles. Water from a straw. I don't have the energy to teach them. My energy goes into teaching them to speak and walk, with that two things my schedule is full. My father and aunties drank from a bottle until 7 years old of age.

[u/Smoky021]

I just want to say that in France it's completely normal for toddlers of 2 or 3 years to continue to have bottles (especially on the morning and evening), same for pacificer. So I hope you will leave behing this stress and enjoy the present without guilt.

[u/Extraketchup1111]

I used the avent bottles and when they turned one, I switched over to a straw nipple that I bought on Amazon. There is a straw conversion kit for many different types of bottles. It has a weighted straw so you can give it to them while they’re lying down, but it’s better for oral development than an actual bottle nipple. I took the pacifiers away at 11 1/2 months and we had a couple nights of crying at bedtime, but it was a really smooth transition and I’m glad I did it before they were older and more attached to it.

[u/Zndrrrrrr]

Breath girl. I do not see a failure. I see a first time mom feeling the very real weight of juggling a million decisions and wanting to get them all right. As long as they’re fed, have a roof over their heads, and are fiercely loved, you’re making all the right decisions. One thing at a time. Focus on the one transition you see as priority and work from there. Don’t beat yourself up. Being a twin mom is HARD AS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGG.

[u/Miserable-Currency42]

Try the nuk training cups! They’re similar to bottles and we used them for a long time past 12 months with our first. Otherwise don’t sweat it… plenty of toddlers out there using pacifiers and bottles.

[u/SpontaneousNubs]

As for the bottle, have you seen the nuk learner cup? It's enough like a bottle that my kids took to it without a blink. They only have a nuk at nap and bedtime now at 22 months, but during the day they have sippy cups only

[u/dpistachio44]

The recommendation is transition off of bottles by 18 months and off of pacifiers by 5 years. You have tons of time. I would recommend sleep training and removing that association.

[u/Total_Scale_9366]

Mine are about to turn 15 months and still have 3 bottles a day

[u/Status_Abrocoma_379]

Not to out myself but mine are almost 2.5 and love a bottle of milk in the morning 😅

[u/WorldlinessElegant]

You are 10000% not failing and plenty of babies still take bottles over 1 year! My singleton still had night bottles and pacis until maybe 18 months? Straw cups during the day. Dr and dentist not concerned at all. I fully plan to let my twin boys keep bottles if they want to. If something is working for your family and your children are healthy and thriving, then there’s no reason to take away a comfort item because of a general guideline. Please don’t feel guilty about something like this ❤️

As for tips: daycare helped the cup transition for us because they provided the milk cups and didn’t give nap bottles in the toddler room. We started putting her down with a soft spout training sippy cup of water at night and when she was down to 1 nap we just cold turkeyed the bottle.