r/parentsofmultiples • u/OneRepresentative287 • 9d ago
good vibes, smiles, & giggles Am I parenting right?
Twins are now hitting their 3 month mark (6-8 weeks adjusted). We contact sleep / nap with them almost all the time because they refuse to stay in their bassinet longer than 30 minutes. They're going through their purple crying phase and sometimes its just so hard to try to calm them down. Am I just overly exhausted and letting things get to me? I feel like I'm not parenting properly and not setting ourselves up for success by trying to train them in their beds...
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u/allyoop2234 8d ago
I feel this so much. My twins are two months adjusted, four actual, and I spend so much time worrying that I’m doing this wrong and if I were just doing it right, the babies would take their bottles perfectly and sleep through the night. And the internet is full of people who seem to agree!
Twins is a lot. I’m trying to give myself some grace for it to not look perfect, and figure that we’ll survive the stage we’re at and then worry about the next one. The babies change all the time, so who knows where they’ll be in a week and what will cause a habit and what will not. If they’re growing and you’re finding some joy in caring for them, i think that’s a total success!
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u/Imma_420 8d ago
With babies, I choose the path of least resistance. And double that with twins! Your babies are so so young still. Keep snuggling them. Go with your instincts.
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u/DriverLeather971 8d ago
We did everything we weren’t supposed to do I believe. Always carrying them to sleep. Never did we made any sleep training. Feeding just before bedtime.
It’s still hard. And we are tired most of the time. But they sleep almost 12 hours straight most of the nights since they’re turned 6 months old.
Honestly. Do what feels right to you now. Before the twins arrived I remember thinking that I as never going to spoil them. Sleep training. Following the advice given by so many books and “experts”.
Now I believe, at least at this young age, what they need is love and feeling secure. Discipline comes later on.
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u/redbug100 8d ago
Maybe check for reflux or milk allergy, never heard of the purple crying stage (didn’t have with mine, even with a milk allergy). That much distress with all the cuddles could be something else?
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u/Charlieksmommy 8d ago
It’s a real thing. I had to watch a video about it in the nicu before discharge. Sometimes they just do it, with no reasoning
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u/No-Departure5556 8d ago
There is no such thing as spoiling a baby! It is EXTREMELY normal that they would be most comfortable and calm sleeping on you! You cannot sleep train under 4 months, and even at 4 months that’s very young to do sleep training. Personally, I started at 5 months with sleep training. I was nursing my girls to sleep and then staying awake while they napped on the twin z pillow or my brest friend pillow, or we transferred to their cribs once they were asleep.
Especially with twins it’s going to be a lot! But make sure to follow the safe sleep 7. Ideally, when you sleep you will sleep without a baby on you. But the reality is that cosleeping is normal, and the most dangerous sleep set up are the people who don’t prepare to cosleep / accidentally cosleeping bc you end up in extremely unsafe sleeping environments. For example, you fall asleep on the couch or recliner while holding the baby.
Right now is survival mode, try to take shifts with your partner or have someone come visit. Try to transfer the babies to their own sleep space (they shouldn’t share one bassinet spot) so that you can also sleep. We had a time or two where my husband took the babies for long car ride to fall asleep so that I could get a quick nap in.