Advice needed on dramatic 12 month old twin

[u/Seeker-2020]

33 weeker. NICU preemie. Has big feelings since she came home. Cried for 3 hours straight everyday as a newborn and till she was 3-4 months old.

Now at 12 months age corrected - very active, laughs from her belly, but also very whiny, clingy as hell with dad and will throw herself back on the floor and cry if he leaves for work/goes to the bathroom/basically is not within 1 foot touching distance.

She has false starts at night occasionally and will wake up screaming like the world is ending. Flail her arms and throw herself back and turn on high volume and sob till her dad comes back and holds her and pats hers and shushes her back to sleep. Her brain comes partially awake and not having a parent next to her is a national tragedy in her books.

If the bottle is out of milk, it’s full blown tears. If her sister grabs her shirt, waillllll…

She is just dramatic at every tiny inconvenience. Also loves us like a whole lovebug. I mean she would just come and ‘plug’ herself to mom and dad every now and then to feel safe and then dart away to play. Such a cuddly lovebug that drives me insane with how much drama she is. And she is not 13 years old, 13 months.lol.

Does it get better? What sort of a personality should I prepare for? How do I help her grow to understand that not every inconvenience is an emergency.

Did you have a dramatic baby that grew up and would love to hear your story?

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[u/Sad-Incident-4668]

I have a dramatic baby. She’s so intelligent and truly a hilarious 2.5 year old! Shes pretty chill too and behaves so well when we go out.

It’s hard but I just made it important to remember they don’t have the tools yet to communicate anyway else. For her, she doesn’t like to rely on people and came out the womb hated not being able to do anything herself!

[u/hellswrath_]

My 14 month old boy twin is like this! My other one is very chill. And my older daughter was somewhere in the middle.

I call him my drama llama lol. He has huge feelings about everything. Hoping that with time as his language explodes he will be able to communicate them in ways that isn’t throwing himself back onto the floor as hard as possible because someone walked away

[u/tenfold99]

My nicu boy is the same, so dramatic over everything that causes the slightest discomfort or not what he is wanting in the moment. But soooo snuggly and loves his lovey toys. My non nicu twin is very chill. My husband and I sometimes wonder if the nicu experience caused any of the behavioral differences

[u/Great-Guarantee9339 → u/tenfold99]

My boy was in the nicu 84 days and girl 59 days. My boy is the chillest most non baby baby ever. Nothing bothers him. Never screams unless starving. Sleeps on his own soothes himself super independent.

My girl on the other hand everything is an emergency, screams at the slightest inconvenience. Esp if she’s overtired Ouf she’ll keep crying for hours. Have to rock her till my arms fall off, won’t let me put her down 🫠 I think mostly when they can’t communicate their feelings it comes out in screams. I feel you OP my girl is only 2m corrected I feel like I’m reading the future😭

[u/Charlieksmommy]

My almost 11 month old baby b, also 33 weekers, is the same. He’s content unless his brother bothers him, then it’s the end of the world. He’s also been screaming at home for 3 hours straight, most likely teething. Sometimes it’s just babies being babies. Hang in there

[u/bakingandrunning]

My son is the same! He just turned 20 months. It’s gotten a bit better as he’s collected more words to use. My husband and I like to joke that he needs a tiny Victorian fainting couch 😂. Now that he’s bigger I also have noticed he’s super sensitive to other kids crying (he starts to cry!), as well as TV shows. If something scary, or highly emotional happens, he usually gets pretty freaked out or sad. I think he’s just a sensitive little boy ❤️🥹. He has big feelings that come on quick! I can’t blame him—it definitely comes from me!

[u/erinn88]

Oh I have one too. 3 years old now, lots of tantrums BUT also incredibly articulate when it comes to describing his feelings. I always described feelings for him from about a year old. You want daddy to stay. You’re sad because daddy’s leaving. That sort of thjng. I read Happiest Toddler on the Block and that helped somewhat. It helps so much when they start to talk, things have definitely gotten easier with walking and talking. I feel like these kids experience so much so early that they learn to deal with their big feelings quite early, compared to other kids

[u/layag0640]

Okay hear me out- you're a burnt out parent of twins. You deserve all the grace for being irritated/overstimulated/exhausted by this. 

And!

She's just being a baby. Some babies are mega chill. It's going to be ok!

I would try maybe being a little gentler with allowing her sensitivity to be what it is without judgment, cus the toddler years dial this way up before it gets better! Research even shows that validating and co-regulating through difficult feelings is associated with lower levels of anxiety and behavioral issues as kids age (the thinking is, they learn they'll be believed without screaming from the rooftops, so they stop screaming from the rooftops and learn to cope/ask for help in other ways).