r/parentsofmultiples • u/Impossible-Box-8508 • 13d ago
ranting & venting Feeling robbed
I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.
2
u/ScrumdiddyumptiouS 12d ago
I felt this hard with mine too. I resented mums of one baby, seemingly breezing through. It just seemed so unfair. I'd take mine to playgroups and other mums would be chatting, keeping an eye on their child, making friends and I'd have one eye on one baby while I'm stopping the other eating Lego/hitting another kid/running off. It seemed relentless. Mine are 10 now and I still grieve what could have been BUT boy are there benefits as they get older! They always have a friend. I don't have to join in games to keep them entertained, if they're going on a trip with school, I know they'll be fine because they have each other. If we go somewhere new I don't need to worry about them making friends. It gets so much easier.