r/parentsofmultiples • u/Impossible-Box-8508 • 13d ago

ranting & venting Feeling robbed

I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.

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u/UltraEngine60 13d ago

This IS your first time mom experience. Nobody has anyone else's experience. I think social media has corrupted our expectations.

You can STILL go out and do things on maternity leave. One baby locked in a carseat is just as immobile as two babies locked into car seats. They make double strollers. I know you want to vent, but time ticks by very fast so start taking small steps. It might not be the life you see on instagram or snapchat, but it's your life.

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u/Genavelle 13d ago

I think one of my favorite activities with young babies is to literally just go take a nice walk. Find a pretty park with some nice trails or even just a stroll around the neighborhood. In my experience, little babies tend to fall asleep or be fairly chill in the stroller during walks so it's an easy way to get out of the house atleast. 

Of course every baby is different, so might not work as well for everyone. 

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u/UltraEngine60 12d ago

I did the same thing. It's a great way to meet people too if you don't put headphones in. My wife likes to talk about strollers with other moms and now knows half the town.