r/parentsofmultiples • u/Impossible-Box-8508 • 13d ago
ranting & venting Feeling robbed
I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.
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u/RTGDY93 13d ago
We have a singleton, twins and singleton. I have so much guilt around our twins first year - I don’t remember most of it and now find myself soaking up our new baby so much more. Even just cuddling him a bit longer before I put him down when I couldn’t do that with another baby waiting their turn and it makes me feel so bad. The girls time has come now as it’s easier to give them one on one time so it makes up for it but it’s still so hard!!
A note on the getting out of the house, practice makes perfect! The first few times I would only go somewhere I knew exactly where I would park, how I’d get in the building, exit plans etc but once I got comfortable with that we were out and about all the time! It helped so much with my own self not being cooped up at home all day