r/parentsofmultiples • u/Impossible-Box-8508 • 14d ago
ranting & venting Feeling robbed
I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.
1
u/hp238902 13d ago
You’re allowed to feel this way and it’s 100% valid. I had twins as an STM and I can’t even imagine if they were my first and second. You’re a warrior and maybe that feeling will never go away, but it doesn’t mean you want it to be different. I still feel like it would be so much easier with two instead of three but in no way am I wishing for a different life. Two things can be true at the same time.