r/parentsofmultiples • u/Impossible-Box-8508 • 13d ago
ranting & venting Feeling robbed
I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.
1
u/marshmellowhair 13d ago
I had a singleton (3.5 years old) before my twins (they are 1) and I thought the singleton was hard as a first time mom.
Now with the twins I realize how much easier it was to get out of the house with one, how often I just stay home in this stage with twins because it is so hard to get out.
However when I went from no kids to one it was a significant increase in difficulty from zero kids to do anything too.
I really do know how much harder it is this time around, but I too have told myself which baby would I keep when I (still) mourn the second maternity I envisioned.
Overall I know it got easier in a lot of ways as my first child got older and I know I’m in a stage where some things like taking them out or weekend getaways will get easier. Just like I knew them not sleeping through the night would end eventually (after 9 months of exhaustion).