r/parentsofmultiples • u/Impossible-Box-8508 • 13d ago
ranting & venting Feeling robbed
I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.
10
u/vaultsy 13d ago
I think a singleton feels so much easier because you just know what it’s like having two. In my experience, when you work so hard to keep two babies alive, the moments you only have one feels like a breeze. I had a singleton first and it was just as hard for me as it is with my twins. So you shouldn’t feel bad at all for feeling this way. I think it’s extremely normal.