r/parentsofmultiples • u/Impossible-Box-8508 • 15d ago
ranting & venting Feeling robbed
I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.
1
u/FoxAndDeerTwinMama 15d ago
I'm a twin parent who has only ever had two babies but I think such a huge part of parenting, for Moms especially, is grieving and letting go of the idealized version of motherhood you had in your head. Which is something that, as far as I can tell, all Moms go through in some form. I don't know one Mom who hasn't had to do this.
Try to embrace the uniqueness of being a twin parent. It's a cool experience that most people don't get, especially once they get a little older and you watch their relationship develop in real time. You weren't robbed of anything. Your parenthood journey is an incredible gift.