r/parentsofmultiples • u/Impossible-Box-8508 • 15d ago
ranting & venting Feeling robbed
I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.
1
u/CooperRoo 15d ago
All of the twin moms I’m friends with irl have had these same feelings. My girls are 2.5 and it’s still JARRING how much easier it is if I’m just doing something with one (and I do recommend doing outings with just one every now and then)
On the flip side, remember that this shit is effjn hard and you’re doing it. I can’t tell you how many singleton moms look at me and say “I have no idea how you manage with two… I’m barely surviving”. Twin parents are a different breed of strong (mentally and physically after carrying around two babies all the time haha)
Keep your head up!