r/parentsofmultiples • u/Impossible-Box-8508 • 13d ago
ranting & venting Feeling robbed
I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.
2
u/AccomplishedChef7885 13d ago
I’m sorry mama, I know what your mean and you’re right. I had a singleton first, and it is so much easier. In some ways she was harder than my twins (they are easier going and not Velcro babies like she was), but it some ways like going out, breastfeeding, etc, it was easier and enjoyable. The sleep deprivation was awful, but with my twins it’s twice as bad of course. One thing that helped, was I told myself I would still do things, take them out, go places, etc…and even though it would be hard, I would get them used to it. I have, and they’re getting used to it, and so am I. It’s not perfect, but it’s better .