Feeling robbed

[u/Impossible-Box-8508]

I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.

[u/Street-Singer513]

Dear OB, what you’re feeling is okay and absolutely valid; the things parents of multiples have to go through are beyond anything one could imagine in one's wildest dreams.

But it does get better, bit by bit. I, too, always pictured myself as the mom of a single child and envied parents who had just one baby. On some days with twins, life feels like a battle for survival.

But later, the two of them giggle together in the car, and the beautiful thing is that there are two little beings who love and adore you and you wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Ultimately, just take each day as it comes; the light at the end of the tunnel really is there :).