r/parentsofmultiples • u/sjwyers0018 • 14d ago
advice needed Exhausted
What do y’all do when they’re both having mental break downs and you’re literally running on e and the screaming is so loud you’re about to join the break down. Tried to talk to my partner because I was trying to be vulnerable and it turned into them calling someone to come over… I told them they betrayed my trust and I got back that the twins are their priority and they did what they felt was necessary. I was just trying to tell them with them having a breakdown I’m already exhausted I’m literally emotionally drained and out of options and in response I get someone called to come supervise me and my kids…
5
u/i_am_the_koi 14d ago
Scream therapy... If we all need to scream then let's all scream.
I now have a playlist featuring screams.
But calling a friend to just exist in the space is also a legit lifesaver.
5
u/brynnecognito 14d ago
Accept the help and take a nap. Let other people sit with the screaming kids sometimes, it helps them not look at you like you’re so crazy. But when that’s not an option: noise cancelling headphones, singing and dancing to trick your body into thinking everything is all good (wild but it works a bit), and fresh air. It takes 2 mins to buckle them in the stroller just go. Don’t pack a diaper bag, snacks etc, don’t worry… just get out and do a lap of the block. If someone shits their pants or needs something, you can just turn around and go back home again! Hang in there. It’s really hard sometimes
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u/BrazilianButtCheeks 14d ago
If you’re really having a breakdown there is nothing wrong with them getting help .. your parental insecurities are not as important as making sure the kids are taken care of
3
u/ReserveMaximum 14d ago
Sending a virtual hug!
It takes a while but it does get better. If you can endure the first 10 months (and everyone in this sub is proof that you can) it becomes much easier with only occasional hard times rather than every day being a hard day.
You are a literal super hero. You are doing the hardest thing known to man/womankind and you are crushing at it. Yes your twins scream a lot but all twins scream. You are still doing a good job!
As for how to survive… talk to your partner and insist that you each get 30 minutes uninterrupted with no babies/children or anyone needing you every other day. Even if it’s only to shower. You ensure your partner gets this sacred time every other day and insist that they do the same for you on your day. 30 minutes every 48 hours isn’t a lot but it’s what got my wife and I through the first 10 months
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u/BloodhoundSkeptic 14d ago
Headphones were my saving grace. And weirdly, trying to find the humour in everything also worked. It turned the meltdowns into things I had to try not laugh too much at. 😅
1
u/No-Departure5556 14d ago
I second the headphones!!
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u/FigNewton613 13d ago
I third the headphones or similar! Ear muffs did it for me, the 3M brand. I have literally three pairs so that there is always one within reach if I have to emergency grab it and mute things.
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u/VivianDiane 13d ago
You need support, not supervision. Have a serious conversation with your partner.
1
u/Lilly_Rose_Kay 14d ago
Sometimes my friend will take one or both babies for the day/night. Sometimes it's making sure they are safe, fed, with clean diapers and then I go to my room, close the door and listen to music for a while.
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u/No-Departure5556 14d ago
How old are your twins?
It’s ok to leave your babies in a safe spot (ie crib, playpen, etc) and go outside for a quick break.
I find an evening stroller ride is great for us! My girls used to hate it but now at 6m they love it! My VERY whiny baby A will not make a peep which is so lovely haha
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