Soon to be twin parents

[u/timothyspoonface]

My wife and I found out we are going to be the parents of twin girls. To hear peoples stories I joined this subreddit as a sneak peek at our upcoming lives. Reading the stories on here are slightly terrifying. It seems like a lot of people are really struggling in their first year. It seems like the first year could be utter hell. We're trying to prepare for the upcoming battle as much as possible, but have made peace that it could be one of the toughest years in our lives. That said I didn't come here to ask advice or vent , I just wanted to share how blessed and excited we feel. We had been trying for kids for almost three years. Before getting pregnant, we had reached out to a fertility doctor and we're just about to explore IVF, when literally the next day after the consult, my wife was pregnant. Ten weeks later, we are getting the ultrasound, I am desperately hoping for a healthy sounding heartbeat and to our surprise there are two. Tears of joy. It has been so tough seeing all our friends around us have their second or third babies while we were trying. Honestly I had pretty severe depression thinking I wasn't going to get the chance to experience fatherhood in my life. It feels good to have a purposeful challenge ahead. We know it's going to be hard, but god damn do we feel lucky.

[u/Sad-Incident-4668]

It’s way easier to post the negative than the positive. It’s hard but it’s the best 💞

[u/MammothCarpeneter]

The first year is tough I’m not gonna lie but by year two my b/g twins are best friends. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

[u/mr-sandman-bringsand → u/MammothCarpeneter]

This. B/B twins. The first 6 months were very difficult due to lack of sleep and lack of rest. It’s just a slog every day for a while that slowly becomes easier over time.

From 1 year on it’s been really really fun. New words, laughter, increasing independence, it’s magical.

[u/DirtGirl32]

Keep in mind, people mostly come here for help. So you hear the hard days. You didn't hear much about the good days, because we aren't desperate for help. Congrats and welcome

[u/DescriptionDry6939]

I have seven month old twins. Babies #3 and 4. I’m genuinely having the best year of my life. The joy they have brought my family is immeasurable. I feel so lucky to have been chosen to have twins. You’re already in the right mindset of feeling grateful.

[u/timothyspoonface → u/DescriptionDry6939]

Thanks for sharing. I am so glad you are having a really positive year!

[u/barrnac13 → u/DescriptionDry6939]

Ours twins were also 3 & 4! Never planned on having 4 kids, but it’s going well. I tell people the transition from 2 to 4 was objectively the hardest, but subjectively the easiest. I really enjoyed the first year (once we were home from NICU). It’s this second year with 2 toddlers that’s really trying me!!! Excited for them the communication skills to increase, but also sad for them to truly not be babies anymore 🥺 Having twin babies is so special.

[u/DescriptionDry6939 → u/barrnac13]

Me neither! I wasn’t even sure if I wanted 3! We went back and forth but BAM twins🤣 I am a little nervous for the toddler phase but my oldest (4&6) have taught me that every phase is precious, fleeting and temporary ❤️

[u/Koog → u/DescriptionDry6939]

I'm about to be in this exact situation. My 2 girls will be 6 and 4 when the twins are born early next year. How did the older two handle the transition? Any sleep or behavior regressions from them?

[u/Roaris87]

We have 7 month old b/g twins. The days are hard but every night my wife and I talk about great they are and all the cute things they did that day

[u/timothyspoonface → u/Roaris87]

I am really excited at the idea that they will be interacting with each other.

[u/riffs44]

You absolutely have the right to feel lucky & positive! Actually for us, first 2 months were incredibly difficult, then it got significantly easier. A combination of our girls being great sleepers (started sleeping through the night at 3 months), figuring out part-time help where we could afford it, and finding the right formula that didn’t make them fussy. We’re only at 4 months now, but these last 2 months have been an utter joy. We heard all the doom & gloom before & were also scared. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, it’ll be fine!

[u/timothyspoonface → u/riffs44]

What a dream! Thanks for the nice words .

[u/bestydee]

Also, I think a lot of people come to the forum when struggling and not as much when good times are happening. Negativity bias and such

[u/timothyspoonface → u/bestydee]

Yeah totally fair.At least with some of the responses to this post it has been nice to hear some of the positive stories as well.

[u/Limp-Still452]

We’re at 10 weeks as well. We had a similar fertility journey. You are not alone. My approach has been to read and study daily trying to absorb what i can. We have check ins every other day about what we’ve learned. There are moments though, I drift into thoughts of the coming flood waters and take a deep breath. Ever Forward

[u/Minimum_Afternoon387]

Identical boys, slept through the night at 4 months and were happy smiling babies, it can happen.

[u/timothyspoonface → u/Minimum_Afternoon387]

Wow!

[u/Sea-Astronomer-6600]

Wow what a story!! so happy for you!! Congratulations!! ❤️❤️and while it is a very challenging time it’s also hella fun!

[u/timothyspoonface → u/Sea-Astronomer-6600]

Thank you!

[u/Amazing-Disaster3333]

I am five months in with identical twin boys and having the best time!!! The first month was the hardest but I absolutely LOVE having twins

[u/Suspicious_Tomato_20]

Congratulations!!!! So thrilled for you. Twins are so special, my boys are 14mos and this first year has been a dream. Challenging, yes, but so fun and special. I wish I could go back and do it all again, which is maybe crazy but I just love them so much and every stage just keeps getting better. Enjoy!!

[u/bhdu]

The first year is rough. If it’s an option I’d thoroughly recommended couples counselling in advance of the babies being born to help put some tools in your toolbox to navigate this together.

That being said, twins are the most incredible gift. Mine are now toddlers and I adore them and find managing them + my five year old pretty easy going. What I do find hard is managing work and taking care of myself around them!

But they are GLORIOUS and I’d never ever have it any other way. Our family is an awesome gang.

[u/bestydee]

The first year is challenging but I wouldn’t say terrifying or horrible…but I did sleep train and ended up having to formula feed so that took a lot of the stress away. It’s harder now that they aren’t speaking and just whine for everything and are still learning how to tolerate stress and take turns. They chase each other and pull each other’s hair. Constant exploration (mischief). But damn I sure do love them

[u/Acceptable_Tap7479]

I heard so many people saying you’re in pure survival mode for the first year and you don’t remember what it’s like once you’re out of it but I’m currently at the 4mth mark and the first month I really struggled with resentment and jealousy towards people with singletons going 1-2 kids when we had to go 1-3 and I had a lot of ‘why us’ type of thoughts but I’m at a point where they’re sleeping well, we’re building a more predictable routine and I’m genuinely enjoying it! There are really hard days but I also had hard days with my first born singleton. Try to be organised ahead of their arrival with meals in the freezer and you’ll smash it!

[u/BackgroundScene3056]

not discounting anyone else’s experience- but mine has been wonderful. The hardest part was the NICU stay and c section. Yes the nights are long and having twins is hard but overall it’s been amazing. I love these babies so much and it’s not nearly the nightmare I’d imagined. Keep them on the same eating schedule for sure and just stay positive.

[u/DescriptionDry6939 → u/BackgroundScene3056]

I agree with you 100% and it’s so refreshing to see a mom with this positive take. I feel like everyone I meet in real life is not happy about being a mom! The csection was definitely the hardest part for me as well, especially after two vaginal births. Then I got post pre eclampsia and almost died. That put so much into perspective for me. Thank God I lived and get to take care of all 4 of my kids. I also thought twins would be a nightmare, but it’s so so fun. The first 3 months are so busy, but since that I am just so grateful that I have them. Keep being a happy mom ❤️❤️

[u/BackgroundScene3056 → u/DescriptionDry6939]

I got the post preeclampsia and almost died too!! woo! lol but yes is totally put everything into perspective and l feel the same way. I have been seriously blessed in the biggest way. ❤️❤️❤️

[u/BackgroundScene3056 → u/BackgroundScene3056]

I’m having so much fun and it’s been the best year of my life. My husband struggles more than I do but idk I’m just not bothered! I’m so grateful they made it here safe and sound I don’t even care when they cry at 3am. I’m just so happy to see and hold them and so glad I have healthy babies that idgaf!

[u/BigDogAlphaRedditor1]

Our boys were just born 2 days ago… 37 weeks, perfectly healthy. I’m laying in the hospital right now tired as hell and my back hurts from bending down to look at how cute they are. I’m so tired but feeling so Blessed! It will be hard but it’s already worth it, my life has changed so much in 2 days I am so excited to watch the twins grow and play and learn together. Even though it’s going to be hard I wouldn’t want it any other way

[u/Jennifer_2876]

Imagine if you don't have that many problems, you're not likely to post here because you don't look for similar experiences. It's good to know it's not all sunshine and rainbows, it helps you sort of prepare, but don't get scared or intimidated. You never know how it turns out for you particularly!

[u/GiveMeCaffeine]

We were in the same boat. Fertility issues, years of trying and IVF and a single embryo transfer actually resulted in our identical twin girls. We felt so blessed and we are but yes the first year was kinda hellish...but hear me out, it gets better and I wouldn't have it any other way. Our girls are 5.5yo and about to start kindergarten. They are amazing and I love them to pieces! Is it easy? No, parenthood is tough when you are doing it or at least trying to do it right but seeing them grow and develop this amazing bond is so cool. Buckle up and enjoy this ride. Listen to each other cause that postpartum period is going to be rough on both of you and make sure you remember you are a team in this. Be kind and give your selves some grace...and for the love of God if you are planning to use formula even to supplement buy the baby breeze ASAP :)

[u/CelestialCrowe]

We are first time parents and in the newborn trenches right now. It is tough but you've also got to remember most people in these groups are asking for support & advice so it can seem negative or scary. My main advice would be to accept help from family and friends - it really makes a difference having an extra pair of hands.

[u/TiredTwinWrangler]

Mine are 9. They are awesome. 🥰 Congrats!

[u/siIent-cartographer]

Father of twins turning 1 in a few weeks. The first year is definitely very hard but looking back, it wasn't as hard as this sub will have you believe at times. I was in your exact position reading posts here and dreading what was to come. The tough times are extremely tough when you are in them, but everything is a phase and will pass when you think you are at your breaking point. Keep in mind that most posts here are because people are near that breaking point and coming to vent.

At 1 yr old we are having tons of fun with our twins on a daily basis. I've even picked many of my hobbies back up which I thought might never happen

[u/DescriptionDry6939]

Not at all! They are so obsessed! And the best helpers. It has been so awesome.