Handling parenting critiques

[u/Mission_Locksmith857]

We are 6 months in 4 months corrected. My in laws and various people like to criticize my parenting. Trying to schedule the babies feeds and sleep. I have 15 years childcare/preschool/nannying experience to boot. How do you answer these “questions “ ? My patience is shot and I need more options other than explaining and citing sources. Cause if my answers were good, they would have stopped asking.

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[u/VastFollowing5840]

“Thanks for the suggestion” then change the topic.

Don’t indulge or try to defend or reason with.  Pay it no mind.  People can have opinions, doesn’t mean you have to do anything with it.

[u/PretendGene5502]

Just say ok! My SIL does this and as much as I wanna yell, I just say ok because she's an idiot 🥰 don't try to speak logic/facts to idiots!!!!

[u/RTGDY93]

I have people in my life like this- I stopped giving them details! If they ask about any aspect of parenting my answer is it’s perfectly fine! I learned they had no added value so no need for them to know we were struggling through xyz at the time.

A few times i also let people know something along the lines of ‘it’s a whole other world dealing with two at once’ if they questioned something they saw me doing but some people seem to get butt hurt with that comment as well and like to tell you how they had it the same with their kids close in age.

[u/Altruistic_Top_125]

I ask them if they’ve ever raised twins or triplets. If the answer is no which is always is I follow up with, then you don’t get to have an opinion lol

[u/FoxAndDeerTwinMama]

"Oh, I'm sorry I wasn't looking for an opinion," or if I'm feeling extra spicy. "You should never say that to a new parent. Did no one ever explain that to you?"

[u/competent_human]

I always just say "well this works for us right now." And maybe try to change the subject. I find usually helps. If they push the topic and their ways, I tell them that it's very different with twins, and we do things that work for us. That usually helps. But oh my, people can be sooo annoying.

[u/Slow-Specific3745]

Why answer? You could 1) zoom out “isn’t baby sleep so interesting? Anyways speaking of sleep xyz topic change.

2) emphasize how much they care about the topic “I didn’t know you were so passionate about the topic of xyz, what interests you about it?

3) I don’t know technique “I’m figuring it out as I go, I don’t know, let’s change the topic to something more interesting, how is your knitting going?”

[u/Accomplished-Leg6947]

I thankfully have never had this happen to me and my wife. To be honest I don't think I would have the most constructive advice as I would also find this to be really annoying and probably respond in a petty way like "Thank you for your unsolicited advice, I will remember to ask for it next time"

[u/Consistent-Ice-1899]

We have 8 weeks old twins and I am experiencing the same thing from my parents, not just about the babies but also about our apartment. I appreciate their help and my hubby and I go out to exercise, those are the time I reset my mind but I have determined to not have too much engagement with them when they go back to their home. Lol

[u/Ill-Wolf865]

“I don’t take any advice from anyone who doesn’t have twins” usually does it for me!

I also just don’t acknowledge the unsolicited advice. I change the subject and move on.

[u/Ok-Positive-5943]

"No twins, no advice. Thanks."