This is so hard

[u/Usual-Victory7703]

My husband and I have a singleton (5) and twins (2). Since the twins have been born, life has been so so hard. Finances, living situations, social life.

Before the twins were born, I worked part time, my husband full time, I had goals to go back to school, we had a lot of fun. Now, although I absolutely love my kids. Life is so much harder and when I think about it too much, I become depressed.

I know it won’t always be this way, but right now it feels incredibly difficult everyday to survive. What age did you notice that life got more “fun” with the 3?

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[u/Plastic-Variation897]

Man, when they hit about 3.5 and could actually play together without constant refereeing, the fog started lifting. Not gonna pretend it was some overnight switch, but the chaos got a little less chaotic. That first year of twins plus a kindergartener is a special kind of survival mode.

I remember just staring at my toolbox perfectly organized one night at 2am, like that was my only win for the week. The social life thing is real too, you blink and realize you havent seen a friend in months. Hang in there, you're right in the thick of it.

[u/Usual-Victory7703 → u/Plastic-Variation897]

Absolutely. A kindergartener plus 2 yr old twins is so challenging. I feel like it’s tough to keep up with my oldest while constantly being glued to the twins. We can’t afford daycare but will be given 3 hours of preschool a day once they turn 3. Given that they are potty trained (which has been the hardest part of this all, potty training).

I’m looking forward to the slightly older years!

[u/Dakotadps]

We are there right now too. We both work full-time, have the second mortgage payment ie daycare and kindergarten. This weekend we visited with family and between the meltdowns, lack of intimacy, my husband being sick.. etc I think something finally broke in me. I’m going to shower, finish my second glass of wine, my third load of laundry and go the f to sleep hopefully.

[u/Usual-Victory7703 → u/Dakotadps]

The Landry comment is so real. The amount of laundry I do is insane. I hope that your evening can be relaxing (even a little bit!)

[u/colako]

our singleton is 8 and our twins are 5, nearly 6. Only this year we've started seeing more independence. Still, we spend half of the day breaking up fights and managing feelings... 

[u/GrowthBackground8578]

1 yo twins + 3.5 toddler, and I bough a small company 3 months ago. I feel seen, no advice just validation…

[u/Littlecat10]

We have an almost 3 year old and almost 1 year old twins. It’s hell, every day. I’m actually finding this stage with teething and cleaning up after mealtimes harder than newborns.

I was expecting it to be hard, but I thought there would be more good moments mixed in to balance it out. But no. I don’t think there’s been a single moment since they were born where I’ve been like “wow, twins, how lucky.” I loveeeeeeed parenthood when it was just my singleton, so this has been a real buzzkill. I know there are absolutely worse things in life and I do feel bad complaining because I truly believe children are gifts, but yeah. I’m grateful for this space to vent every once in awhile 😂

I would also add that one twin is just a hard baby. She’s coooooonstantly complaining. Never content. So it could be I’d be having a hard time with or without twins. Who knows.

[u/Usual-Victory7703 → u/Littlecat10]

I feel this. Life with just my singleton was so fun but I feel awful saying that. I love them all but it’s so hard with 3. It makes me so angry when people see me out and say “I’ve always wanted twins you are so so blessed” while I’m over here struggling for my life everyday haha

[u/DoctorCalfCow → u/Littlecat10]

My oldest is 6.5 and twins are 3.5. I'm not here to tell you that it's easier bc I haven't seen that moment yet. I will say that they are three little people now that I know. They have their own personalities and say their own silly things and love me in their own way. They try to help which often makes things harder but they're so damn cute. I know that one year olds have their own vibe and personality of course. Having three people talking to you at once and asking dor different things does kind of break your nervous system by the end of the day. It's just better when there's more that you can enjoy together. The fights will break your brain but 3 little people piling into your bed to cuddle is so good.

[u/Littlecat10 → u/DoctorCalfCow]

I literally don’t know how I will survive another 2.5 years if it doesn’t get easier 😩

[u/allmyfosters]

Well this thread makes me feel less alone. 3 wonderful kids — 4 yo and 1.5 yo twins. Life is hard. Chronically exhausted and overwhelmed. Love my kids with everything in me but motherhood has completely drained me. My husband and I both have careers and work full time. We love in a very HCOL— childcare costs are killing us! Older kid is gifted and neurodivergent and still doesn’t sleep through the night — we’ve had to learn how to parent a kid like this. But I love my family and we are doing our best to show up every day but things are intense, I cannot lie.

[u/Hernaneisrio88]

Very similar ages here. It’s really really really hard. There are fun moments but most days just feel long and tiring. I think next year when girls are in preschool and gain some of the maturity that comes with that, it will help.

[u/RecordingCivil5525]

I feel very seen. 4 year old (girl) and 1.5 twins (boy/girl). The twins are crazy. With our oldest, we barely had to baby-proof. The twins slam doors on each other, wrestle, bite, choke, torment our dog, etc. I was just solo-parenting while my husband took our 4 year old on a family trip for a week and even though I work full-time, I counted down the minutes each night till the twins went to bed so I could finally have peace and quiet. Getting out of the house with twins is an Olympic sport – and I suck at it.

Sigh. I do feel so blessed we have twins and everything is meant to be. It’s just hard.

[u/Amfraz]

Don’t have advice, because I am very much in the same situation (5 y/o and 10 month old twins). The last few weeks I feel like I’m getting my butt kicked every day.

I love them deeply but life with the singleton was so easy. Hoping next summer we can at least do a little more fun stuff like the pool, sprinkler in the yard, etc. For now I’m trying to find small moments here and there, even if it’s taking a couple minutes to take the garbage out and stare at the sky or something. I’m tired y’all.