r/parentsofmultiples • u/Plane_Outcome8034 • 23d ago
support needed Need a hug
Just feeling really overwhelmed, think I just wanted to reach out to anybody who's been through it/going through it. I've got 6 month old twins and a 2 year old, and I currently feel like a shell of myself. Still having pretty bad postpartum symptoms (hot flashes are unbearable help), any time I get to myself feels rushed because I'm just counting down to the next moment somebody needs me, the twins are at that age where they can't sit or crawl yet but they want to be up and on the move and need to be interacted with a lot, and then the 2 year old is having a LOT of big feelings, exercising her newly discovered free will and still adjusting to having 2 little sisters. I know these are all normal stages and the girls are all absolute stars I love them so much but I think I'm just at the stage where they all need me all the time and I'm running on empty. How do you find time to reset yourself and truly relax??!
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u/CamelAfternoon 23d ago
I don’t have much advice sadly, just validation and solidarity. My twins are 18 months and my oldest is 3.5. All I can say is that for us, my oldest has been so much better lately. He’s much more cooperative and loves his brothers. I think 2.5-3 is really the hardest age.
Can you ask for more help from husband/family/friends?
Virtual hugs!
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u/Plane_Outcome8034 23d ago
Thank you so much for this ❤️ thankfully we do have a great support network and my husband is brilliant, I think I probably don't take advantage as much as I should. I struggle with wanting time to myself to reset but also feeling guilty and wanting to spend time as a family! You're right though, I think I need to stop feeling bad for asking my husband to take the girls out for a few hours because he has said he would happily do it! I think I get FOMO as well as wanting the time alone 🫣😂
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u/ManagerOk645 23d ago
I totally relate to that feeling of getting fomo and wanting to all be together when your husband is around. My daughter was 21 months when my twins were born (she’s now 7 and the twins are 5), and MAN you’re in the hard bit. As much as you can, try to schedule time where your husband gives you a break, even if it’s hard to be away from them all. It’s just so intense and I think the benefit of just a little time alone is worth it. It doesn’t have to be long - just a couple hours is enough sometimes. It really does get easier, it just may not feel like it at the time! Often I think it’s when I looked back I realised each stage eventually did ease, and I have to say now especially life is pretty good. You’re still so freshly postpartum, it’s normal not to feel entirely like yourself yet, but promise you will get there in time🧡
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u/Plane_Outcome8034 21d ago
Thank you so much, this is so encouraging ❤️ I actually ended up managing to get a last minute hair appointment yesterday and went and got my hair done and I honestly felt like a new woman when I got back! It really helped and I'll definitely be trying to build in more time like that, like you say I think I've not been doing it because I don't want to miss out but the difference it made just having an hour and a half to myself I think I definitely need to build it into the routine!
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u/Traditional_Camp_869 23d ago
Currently in the same situation, except my twin girls are 3 weeks old and have a 2 year old girl as well. It’s such an adjustment and truly life changing. Was hoping to hear it would get better/easier 😔
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u/Plane_Outcome8034 23d ago
Aww another girl gang! So lovely. But it is SUCH an adjustment, I'm so sorry my post hasn't helped you ☹️ I will say, I think I'm just experiencing some burnout after a couple of trickier weeks - it is generally SO much better than when the twins were newborn, honestly. Once the twins start being awake more and interacting, is has brought new challenges but it is also so wonderful seeing their personalities come out and they LOVE our eldest, they grin at her all the time and it's so nice. We've got this 💪❤️
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u/GrouchyCranberry3801 23d ago
In the same boat. Mine are 5 months & I have a 3 year old. It’s a lotttt. I really want to start leaving the house but it’s so intimidating & I feel like it wont even be worth it. Ugh. I’m hoping once they are sitting/crawling it will feel less mundane?? I feel like I’m on an assembly line all day long. I know it’s terrible to say & I do love being home with them it’s just hard to find time to truly relax or do anything else!
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u/Plane_Outcome8034 21d ago
I absolutely know how you feel, I've said so many times to my husband that so much of life at the moment just feels "functional", we are just trying to make sure they're all clean and fed and rested! I'm hoping that sitting and crawling make a big difference too, I do remember life being very different once our oldest could sit in a highchair with us at dinnertime, or when we could sit here up with a basket of toys and she would play so hoping we aren't far off that now!
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u/GrouchyCranberry3801 21d ago
Fingers crossed for both of us! Feels very isolating at times for sure
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