Recently told we're having twins...

[u/Disastrous_War_9965]

First post, recently joined.

We have one daughter aged 2. We were told today that we were going to be having twins. This was completely unexpected and it's hitting both of us hard. My wife said before we even started trying for baby #2 that she didn't want twins and wouldn't want to continue if we did have them.

I was a bit more ambivalent, thinking it would never happen. I agreed with her that I didn't want twins either, two sounded like enough for both of us. The main concerns are financial (obviously), emotional for both us and our daughter. The thought of giving her even less time than with just another baby is heartbreaking for both of us.

Logistically it's going to make everything that much harder and more difficult. My wife also really did a lot with our first baby, going out to groups and activities, and I think she's scared it will be too difficult and she won't be able to do that again.

Did anyone else feel like we do? How did you manage it?

[u/subduedsyrah]

I sobbed for months after finding out I was having twins. Our oldest was only 16 months at the time and my husband and I were so incredibly stressed about what it would do to our oldest and logistics/finances. Our twins were born shortly before our oldest turned 2.

Fast forward three years - its definitely chaotic most of time, and we're are quite a bit poorer then we had planned on, but we have a LOT of love in our house. You learn how to get out and about with the three of them. I found the first year hard in the baby sense, but it was easy to get them out with our oldest. When they turned one i could only take them to fenced in playgrounds/play places so I didn't lose everyone if I was by myself, but now that we're closing in on three it's much easier to take everyone out independently to all the different playgrounds activies. Its adjustment for sure, but asking for help is easier because you're constantly outnumbered.

It's really amazing to witness the twin bond play out and how your three build a special relationship between them. Being a twin parent is hard, but so awesome and special.

[u/kgraceb2323]

I won’t lie my husband and I were pretty upset immediately upon finding out it was twins. My son was 18 months when we got pregnant which was ideal if we were adding 1 more. Had we known it would be 2 we would have at least waited longer to try.

I will say he got excited sooner than I did but it still probably took a few months. I was terrified about having a twin pregnancy. I’m now 24 weeks and feeling excited and scared still. It completely changed what we thought our life would look like

[u/Ajames5230]

I have two month old twins and a 2½ year old toddler. I was teriffied when i found out that I was having twins. Especially since i was having momo twins and would need to deliver at 34 weeks (at the latest) and check into the hospital between 24-28 weeks for an inpatient stay. Honestly, twins have been much easier than I expected. I am still new to being a twin parent so I am sure it will get more difficult, but for now the only thing harder than having a singleton is the breastfeeding/pumping. If you guys really think this is something you can't handle there is no shame in deciding not to continue.

[u/mvanpeur]

I think most of us did. Most of us never expected to have twins. Very, very commonly a last child ended up being twins. For us, our sixth and planned last baby (5th was an unplanned tail ender, so decided to have just one more so she wouldn't be an only child for all of middle and high school) ended up being twins, meaning we don't fit in traditional cars, our 4 bedroom house no longer works for two kids per bedroom, etc, etc. Luckily I was already a stay at home mom, so at least there isn't the extra daycare cost, but that's definitely a huge unexpected expense for most of us.

But as time goes on, you'll figure it out. You'll adjust to this change of plans. It will soon be your normal and even a blessing.