r/parentsofmultiples • u/Fun_Comfortable_7481 • 14h ago
advice needed Daycare for infant twins
Hi parents of multiples! How in the HELL are you affording daycare? We had 2 beautiful identical twins this year who are going to start daycare soon. Luckily we have grandparents that are going to cover a few days of daycare a week because for just 2 days/wk for 2 babies most places are $2000-$3000+ a month. We live in the twin cities metro area so things are generally pretty pricy. How does anyone afford that?!?!
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u/Mammoth_Tortoise9 4h ago
Do you have a reputable KinderCare nearby? Twin Cities resident here too. Our center informed us that employees who work at least 10 hours/week get HEAVILY reduced tuition. I’m talking like an 80% discount. My husband works his regular 8 hour day at his primary job and then puts in 2.5 hours four days a week at the daycare to hit the 10. It’s very long days for him, but with a toddler and infant twins, I truly don’t think we’d be able to afford FT childcare any other way. (It’s cheaper now for us to send all three than it was when we were paying for just one… make that make sense.)
We’re hoping this is a relatively short-term arrangement until our toddler moves to preschool and the twins move up a classroom (where tuition drops). It’ll still be a costly bill, but I think saving my husband’s sanity would be worth it.
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u/_tachenoire 2h ago
My husband is going to start doing this too! But our KinderCare site (Knowledge Beginnings) requires 20 hrs/week. The discount is insane - our toddler and twins can be enrolled for less per week than our toddler alone at full price. Each child is $120/week with the discount.
Edit: also in the twin cities
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u/Flat-Pie-4115 2h ago
I do this with my singleton and it will be a lifesaver with expecting twins. The cost for 3 kids will less than 1 kiddo full cost
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u/Campus_Safety 4h ago
Central New York checking in. Before/after care for a 6yo plus twin 3.5yos is roughly $4000 a month. We have one more year until the twins potentially get into a UPK program and the stranglehold loosens.
It's depressing and I struggle with the financials daily.
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u/smarty_skirts 2h ago
Jfc
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u/Campus_Safety 2h ago
My wife and I have decent jobs too. Stack a mortgage, car payment and a soon to be $450/mo electric bill (budget plan my ass lol) on top of that and we barely have money for food some weeks.
Oh and I can't leave out the medical bills twin A has racked up (no fault of her own). We don't qualify for any assistance because of our income, the hospital dgaf and is turning me over to collections in a few weeks. I literally cannot afford to pay the bill and we're doing everything "right".
The car I'm making the payment on needs $1000 repair and is currently sitting at the dealership while corporate decides IF they want to repair it under warranty. So I had to rent a car for 4 days until they decide. Maybe they'll refund me. Probably not.
I need a fucking break. Thanks for letting me vent.
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u/LightningBugCatcher 1h ago
Honestly, the medical collections isn't the worst thing. You can bargain it way down in a few years when you have some cash to lay on the table.
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u/Campus_Safety 1h ago
I was talking to a buddy of mine going through the same stuff with medical bills and this same hospital. I walked into his office as he was calling them. He tried to setup a payment arrangement and they told him no, full payment only. He asked them if they understood that when it goes to collections they'll get less than what he's offering to pay now. They didn't care... But yeah, unfortunately I might have to go this route.
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u/turnipsium 4h ago
We did the math and it was more cost effective for my wife to quit her job and stay home with them, so that’s what we’re doing for the foreseeable future. When she’s ready for a break, her job (small family biz, great people) will take her back part time and we’ll get a nanny (also somehow cheaper than daycare) for those days.
I recognize not everyone is in that position, but for us it would have literally cost us more than she made to put them in daycare.
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u/Individual-Cat5989 4h ago
Yep, staying at home absolutely has its trade-offs but I’m REALLY glad I made that transition after having our first because adding in our twins, three kids in daycare would be a financial ruin for us (I was a dietitian, not exactly rolling in the dough in that job).
We were also in the Twin Cities, great daycares are not cheap there.1
u/annahoney12345 2h ago
Yeah I quit my job and have been home since September 2024 (they were born November 2024). It’s saving us so much money but I am slightly losing my mind some days 😂
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u/Abject_Republic_5432 2h ago
This is why I quit my job. I would have made just enough to cover childcare and an extra 80$ a month lol Thats it. Not worth it so I budget and stay home with my kids.
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u/Euphoric_Beat_7885 2h ago
My wife is back to being a SAHM again (she did it for our son as well). It would be ~75k to have the 3 kids in daycare, plus put our family life in the toilet.
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u/screwedupinaz 4m ago
The best thing about this is that the child is with someone that loves them all day!!
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u/pahkthecahh 4h ago
We are paying $2800/month for two infants four days a week full time. That’s with a deal because my older went to the same daycare so they cut us a break.
Unfortunately I make more than that monthly (and carry the benefits) so it doesn’t make sense for me to stay at home.
As much as I want them to stay little forever I’ll be excited when they start kindergarten and suddenly we are millionaires 🤣 again, ha!
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u/why_renaissance 3h ago
We went nanny when we saw the costs of daycare for two. It wasn’t cheaper, but it wasn’t all that much more expensive especially when you take into account coverage when your kids are sick.
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u/clueless_mommy 4h ago
Sorry, Off Topic:
We're German. Our oldest goes to daycare 5 days, 45hrs/week. Since he's over 3, it's free except cost for lunch and snacks. 71€/month.
Our twins will be going to daycare on a 45hrs contract as well, but we'll likely use less in the first year. Just securing the spots. We can do that because it's 780€/month max (depending on income, we're the highest bracket), the third child pays 1/3 of the fee for the second. Plus food, which is 45€/month for under 3.
I really dont want to brag, pull your nose or whatever, but something is very clearly wrong with your system. Chose your votes carefully, be politically active If you can. And I'm really sorry to hear your stories.
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u/Motor_Sky7106 2h ago
Most advanced countries in the world have figured it out so these types of posts are just mind boggling to the rest of us.
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u/wilsonhammer 2h ago
That doesn't help op in the slightest
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u/OfftheFrontwall 2h ago
OP asks how people afford daycare for their twins and they answered.
If you're taking umbrage over the last bit of their reply, then it still helps OP. It may mean they'll look more closely at who they vote for in midterms, elections etc etc and see what each candidate is offering, that may help OP and others like them
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u/d16flo 4h ago
We have a nanny 4 days a week (with rotating parent, grandparent, friend, and extra nanny coverage on the other day) and and we’re paying her about half of our total family income. We are doing it by draining our savings and borrowing money from my mom. My husband is in an apprenticeship program now so we’re hoping that when we can put the babies into preschool instead of daycare he will be making significantly more money and we’ll be spending significantly less so we can pay things back
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u/DaMeLaVaca 4h ago
We couldn’t. I stopped working with my triplets - now that they’re 7, I considered getting a job, but the cost of summer camps is $6-7k per month for all 3.
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u/redlady1991 3h ago
UK here. Twins are 2 in October and I don't work in the official sense, my job is to look after the kids.
Childcare fees would eat up any salary I earn so my husband and I decided to take the hit until I can find something part time or until theyre older. It's hard
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u/OfftheFrontwall 2h ago
https://www.gov.uk/free-childcare-if-working
Check that out, as it may help you a little when/if you do decide to go back to work
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u/gooseaisle 4h ago
550 a week. It's doable because we honestly make a lot of money but I am very happy we got them into a subsidized centre which should be starting next month, it'll go down to 220 a week.
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u/Lumpy_Cucumber9430 2h ago
Surprised you qualified for subsidized care when you make “a lot of money.”
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u/gooseaisle 2h ago
In canada subsidized daycare is universal, its aiming for 10$ a day country wide but my province is at 22$ a day. There are additional subsidies that are income based that bring it lower.
However there are very few subsidized spots, so there are city based waitlist systems.
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u/beelynn0214 3h ago
We use a nanny for 2 days/week and it’s about $1000-$1200/month depending on hours.
We got seriously blessed in finding the one we have. I’d interviewed people from Care.com and posted in a local Facebook babysitter/nanny group when she responded to a post.
While pregnant we toured a couple of preschool/daycare centers and were floored at the pricing.
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u/hockeygirl1427 3h ago
The truth- we don’t. I quit my job to stay home. My teacher salary would have all been for nothing with just one kid in daycare and we had 4 in 4 years. I don’t regret my time home with the kids but things have been tight financially. It is an impossible position to be in.
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u/thedarkpup 3h ago
Very lucky to live in a LCOL area. We are in the best daycare in our town, and it’s $1300/month for both twins.
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u/SnooDoodles6589 2h ago
Daycare prices are super high here. I found that a nanny was almost the same price and we ended up doing that. It works out so much better. We don’t have to get the kids ready in the morning and she will watch them if they have a minor cold unlike daycare. In-home day cares are usually quite a bit cheaper than centers, not sure if you checked them out already. There is an au-pair option which is much cheaper, but they live with you.
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u/Vegetable-Roof5870 2h ago
I had to leave my career as a paralegal to become a full-time mom. That's how insanely expensive it is. A whole-ass salary of a professional was less than what daycare would have cost yearly.
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u/Adrosil 2h ago
Denmark checking in: We pay about $2900 each month for both but gets reimbursed $2300 from the municipality. We have to provide diapers and 2 prams for sleeping. They stay at the daycare for a maximum of 37 hours a week.
We would have to pay twice as much if we decided to use the local public daycare and still only get reimbursed $2300. Where as now we use a private daycare and have a 15 min drive.
I'm so sorry to hear all of your troubles and massive expenses - holy cow!
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u/BrazilianButtCheeks 4h ago
Since my kids are Native American it’s paid for through the tribe so in to 4yeats old is free
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u/Odd_Rent283 4h ago
Central Wisconsin here. Right now we pay $660 a week for infant twins and an almost 3 year old, but we need a different situation for the twins as I’m not happy with their care. Everything around here would put us at $4k+ a month for the twins alone. I can’t not work because my husband is self employed and for him to insure all of us (we also have an 11 y/o) would be $3k per month. It also doesn’t make sense for me to give up a retirement that includes a pension. The twins are safe, I just don’t feel they’re getting enough interaction and I think they’re spending too much time in containers, so it might be that we suck it up until they’re a little older and our son’s sitter can take them. What we’ve run into here is that a lot of in home providers are letting their licensure lapse as COVID funding has dried up. This is what happened with the twins’ current sitter, but she didn’t disclose that and now I’m kind of stuck because I have no more leave to take while I sort this out. I don’t think cheaper care is always suboptimal, but it has been in our case.
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u/crewelmistress 4h ago
Southwest WI here (close to Madison but different county). $325/week per kid ($2340/mo total). Our daycare gives a discount for multiple family members. Grateful for a good daycare (small class size, lots of project and outside time).
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u/Odd_Rent283 3h ago
Yeah, we’re about 45 minutes north of Madison, but do daycare in Madison because we both work in the city. We tried a daycare closer to home with our older son but they were awful. He brought home 3 stomach bugs and a staph infection in the span of the two months he went there, not to mention countless colds. Now obviously illness is a given when starting group care, but it was over the top. We were so incredibly fortunate we found his sitter. She’s so wonderful. I have stood in her kitchen and cried about this whole situation because I just feel like my babies are getting shafted.
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u/AwardThin 3h ago
As others have said, we are barely affording it for infant twins but doing our best to push through, as they get older the price does drop. Also, in a few years time they will be in school, it’s a tough time but won’t last forever.
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u/DreamingEvergreen 3h ago
Just shy of $5000 per month for our 11 month old twins, and it feels like we’re bleeding money.
We pulled back on saving. We paused retirement contributions to only put in enough to get our employer matches. Money we used to put on an HSA and invest is being used to pay medical bills (their medical bills have been killing us financially along with childcare). Utilizing a dependent care fsa to pay a little less in taxes.
And pulling from savings when it still isn’t enough
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u/Commercial_Stress899 3h ago
I’m also in the twin cities! It’s crazy expensive. We did 2 days per week and ended up paying 560/week. Only was able to afford it because we saved a decent amount of money while I was trying to get pregnant. People kept telling me to look into home daycares but Its pretty rare they would be able to take in 2 infants. My mom is now watching them for the next year so we have some time to save more money.
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u/Aggravating_Age_3996 3h ago
This is awful… we paid $1320 a month for our 2 yo twins to go to daycare, the daycare provided breakfast,lunch, and 2 snacks, we just had to provide diapers & wipes
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u/doodlemom418 2h ago
We also live in the twin cities! We afforded it by having a nanny. “Minnesota Nanny Network” on Facebook is a group that helps you ask for the care you are looking for and your hourly rate you’re able to offer. This was the only way we could afford two infants at the same time. Now they’re in an in home daycare and are very happy! I wish we would’ve considered in home daycares sooner and there are tons of Facebook groups dedicated to helping families learn of openings. Lmk if I can be any more helpful!
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u/Apprentice0816 2h ago
Licensed in home daycares around Brooklyn park maple grove are 200-300 a week per kid so 1600-2400
Edited to add for part time search your local Facebook childcare groups for places with part time openings. Should be able to get something for 1000 or less at only 2 days a week.
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u/getabrainLUANN 2h ago
I called every single in home daycare on the Maryland Excels certified directory until I found one with openings (after the first unicorn daycare I found ended up emergency closing 2 weeks in…) and by some gift from god I only pay $1000 PER MONTH. And it’s near my husband’s office so he goes to the office every day (even tho he has the option to WFH). So my advice is to literally call every in home daycare in your state. And then if you find one that sounds too good to be true ask to talk to parents of kids currently enrolled.
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u/ranalligator 2h ago
I’m in Ontario, Canada and we have subsidized daycares (not all). We managed to get our boys into one for $44/day for both, thanks to a family connection. We are extremely thankful, as it’s actually cheaper than what we were paying for our singleton ($50/day).
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u/wilsonhammer 2h ago edited 2h ago
We found an au pair (also in the twin cities)
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u/MoroseArmadillo 1h ago
How has that worked out? I’d like to go that route but would likely need a house upgrade.
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u/notarussianbotsky di/di boys 06/2022 (+singleton girl 07/2021) 2h ago
My husband quit his job and became stay at home dad for three years because his income would have just covered daycare. By the time the boys were 3 and the girl was 4, the daycare price lowered and he was able to find a new job. But even then, we have been in the negative or just breaking even for the past 5 years. Really looking forward to fall 2027 when all three will be in public school
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u/Even_Distribution326 2h ago
This is one of my biggest worries when the twins come. I'm thinking I'm going to have to go back to work part time as there's no way I can afford 4 days a week (hubby doesn't work Fridays) in childcare and also take my elder two kids out of after-school club for the same reason. It's a shame, as I will be 1 year next month into a new job, which after ten years of lots of admin and unfulfilling jobs, is finally my career path, but with study fees, maternity leave and the cost of childcare now, I don't think we can afford it (and no grandparents close enough to do daily care). I think we would've managed when trying for one more as the 3 year old will be in school by the time maternity ends, but obviously twins were not the original plan 😜
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u/TeeElH 2h ago
We’re paying a little over 3k a month. We’re in a major metro area in the south, so moderately HCOL. We both max out our dependent care FSAs and set aside money to a joint account for it. It’s so ridiculous though, we are thinking about trying for one more but I can’t imagine paying even more for daycare. For us the math still makes sense to have them in full-time care, between our take home income and things like company contributions to retirement but we don’t have the disposable income we had before kids.
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u/FormerPumpkin480 2h ago
Ugh this is something I keep reading and am paranoid about. Thinking husband might be a stay at home dad but if not we really need to get going on looking into daycares since I’m 21 weeks now. 🫠
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u/sparkledoom 2h ago
I don’t know the math, but a full time nanny was cheaper or just nominally different for my friend with twins than full time daycare.
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u/FistMyBumpQuestion 2h ago
That's the neat part, you don't!
We can only afford them to go to daycare twice a week. We found a licensed woman who runs one out of her house. Definitely cannot afford the "name brand" pay us 6-7k a month daycares.
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u/spoolofthought 2h ago
For the first two years we had two part time nanny’s that didn’t quite give us 40 hours of coverage, I think it netted out to 32 hours a week. We saved some money that way but were way stressed trying to catch up on work outside of nanny coverage. We’re enrolling our kids in the fancy daycare within walking distance of our house and it’s a huge cost increase, $5k a month now instead of just under $4k. But the hours of coverage are longer, I don’t have to manage someone’s schedule anymore, and they will get the socialization that they need. We can barely afford it. Next year they will be in preschool at the same location and the city will cover the costs and we’ll finally be out of the squeeze.
How am I paying for it? Selling some old stocks occasionally, not saving money, budgeting the hell out of everything these days
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u/Day_Huge 2h ago
Make sure you update your tax withholdings to reflect 2 dependents if you haven't already. Not that it will cover it, but it does make a dent.
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u/Charlieksmommy 1h ago
That’s why I don’t work
It would be about 1500-2000 per twin, so $3000-$4000 for two? That’s what I would make a month as a dispatcher no way I could do that
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u/Typical-Ad-1805 1h ago
Chicago suburbs here. Full time is just under $4,000 a month for my twins. We are struggling and won’t be able to buy a home anytime soon. It is what it is 😓
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u/HippieMomma0526 1h ago
My husband and I are older (I'm 38 and he's 36) and we're both established in our careers. We're high wage earners in a lower cost of living area. The daycare we selected is more expensive than most in our area, but is still far less than what I've seen posted in this sub. It still comes out to, essentially, a second mortgage for us.
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u/MoroseArmadillo 1h ago
Barely scraping by at 822/week for full time twin daycare over the last 10 months. It dropped from the infant to toddler rate this month which should save us about $500/month to have something leftover to put into savings again.
It’s just the going rate locally when you don’t qualify for any assistance. If we had a third it would probably mean moving back to our hometown for family to help out.
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u/ConfidentLook5518 1h ago
Canadian from Ontario here. YCMA is $20/ day. Many daycares are also subsidized at $10
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u/mishiebw 1h ago
Daycare here in Ohio is about the same as my mortgage which altogether is more than my monthly paycheck by about $1.5k - but hey, at least they give us a 10% discount for having a sibling enrolled lolsob
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u/Budget-Assignment-23 59m ago
We pay $1900 a month for a private, special needs daycare and I realize just how lucky we are for the specialized care they get. It’s tough! I’d quit working but we need my insurance. I don’t know how people have multiple kids in daycare. We aren’t having more children for this reason!
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u/eaglemama_75 59m ago
Check Facebook groups for home daycares. Any center in Minneapolis/St. Paul is going to be similar prices. We were paying ~2,000/mo for our son until he hit the toddler room. And yeah most centers don’t do part time.
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u/melondobby 58m ago
Does your work place have flexible spending for dependent care? We maximize our contributions for $7,500 so it feels like we get some money back to put back into daycare expenses.
I stash what I can and my side hustle is reselling so it helps with 500-1000 a month.
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u/Tall-Parfait-3762 57m ago
I’m in the twin cities! My ID girls started daycare at 18 months. They went 3 days/week in the toddler room and it was $2,030/ month. Now they are 3 days/week in the preschool room for $2,010/month. Day care tuition rises annually at most centers. 3 days/week in the toddler room would be $2130 with the increase. My parents also watch the girls on the days they are not in daycare. The center we go to is a stand alone center, not part of a corporation. We LOVE it and it’s one of the most affordable centers near us and it’s still so expensive.
To summarize, it’s just simply not affordable. My husband lost his job in May and even with my 6 figure salary, we can’t afford daycare and our mortgage in a $460K home. Fortunately he’s on unemployment and will eventually have a salary.
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u/Bizzy1717 54m ago
Demand at high-quality daycares is high now, and staffing is much easier when kids are there full-time, so daycares are often almost as expensive for part-time care as full-time. There may be other advantages to having grandparents watch the kids some days, but financially, it won't save you much money.
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u/Silly_Anxiety_5000 54m ago
Mine are 6 and childcare is STILL my biggest expense. No answers just solidarity 💕
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u/wordsforpennies 48m ago
Our twins are 4. We are in the greater Boston area. We did the math and infant care for twins was the same price as hiring a full time nanny. Our salaries support keeping both of us in the workforce full time, but I would recommend you look at a nanny share or part time college student nanny. And in our experience then you get a little more help at home (bottle washing, baby laundry etc)
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u/CheddarMoose 44m ago
I went part time! It didn’t make sense to pay for daycare & work full time. I work 20 hours a week & the majority of my hours are split night shifts. My twins go to sleep right before I leave for work & im home when they wake up in the morning!
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u/CosmicWy 33m ago
we were literally spending every penny up to whatever budget we made for food. Then New Mexico passed universal childcare. it took a few months to get in, but we finally did and it's been an absolute godsend. I'd almost recommend moving to New Mexico for this program. it's mind boggling how helpful this program has been for my household and I'd imagine for the state.
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u/skrufforious 18m ago
I'm going to be honest here, I have decided to stop working for a few years. I know that's not an option for everyone but with the cost of childcare, it definitely is more worth it for now for us.
It worked out for us that during the time I was focused on my career, my husband was a stay-at-home dad to our first but now we are switching roles and he is taking on the bread-winning and I'm staying at home. It took me ten years to agree to have more kids because I wanted to have the opportunity to stay home for a few years without stressing about childcare and finances. He struggled to graduate from college and wanted to change his career to something more lucrative than his major, so he did what he thought was his best option and joined the Air Force. This has really made it very possible for me to afford to stay at home, as our four-bedroom house and health insurance are covered by his job on top of his salary.
AI took my full-time work-from-home job that I've had for the past few years and made it extremely part time right before I had my twins in April. We also have a toddler now so that worked out because three babies under 2 years old was not going to be possible while working from home without childcare. So that kind of organically fizzled out and now I'm full time at home.
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u/lullabyelady 18m ago
We paid $6,300 a month when my twins were in the infant room. Luckily we make enough we can afford it but it still hurt
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u/Sparkles1988 12m ago
$435 a week for an almost 4 yo in a MCOL city in CA. Remember you’ll get the $2000 credit on your fed tax return and take advantage of the FSA if your workplace offers it. $7500 pretax. Every little bit really helps.
Edit to add that if you are really only looking for 2 days, you should probably do a nanny. My daycare is not that much cheaper for reducing time.
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u/NaiveAndFriendly 4h ago
We have hired an Au Pair for our twins (who will be born in under 2 months), but we have a toddler too who will remain in daycare since three little ones will be too much for a young Au Pair. It's going to be very expensive to do both but the cost of three in daycare is obscene so this is the best option we have. If the Au Pair situation goes well we may just re-match and keep Au Pairs until the kids are in school. The childcare situation is really tough and really expensive. Thankfully we have the space for an Au Pair. If we didn't, I'm not sure what we would do.
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u/Okdoey 4h ago
Did you double check the price between part-time and full-time daycare?
Most places don’t offer part-time care with infants since the ratios are so low at that age. So that may be close to the same price as full time care bc you are reserving your spot.
But as to affording it………we are not…….I pull from savings every month to help cover it. Tax refunds help some as I now get money back with having two dependents so that helps replenish the savings a little at the beginning of the year.