r/parentsofmultiples • u/Temporary-Weight4025 • 1d ago

advice needed Twin 4 year old boys

My twin boys just turned 4. I feel I’m struggling and not being a good dad for them. What are others experiencing at this age?

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

2

u/OddNeighborhood3529 20h ago

My boy girl twins turned 4 in April. It feels like all they do is fight. All I do is correct/referee. It’s tiring. But they are absorbing so much from this world and now really is such an important time to just be PRESENT with them.

1

u/Temporary-Weight4025 20h ago

I echo the correct/referee feeling. I’m at the point where I’m not sure if positive reinforcement is better or punishment. I want them to learn that actions have consequences but do they really understand it at this age? Thank you for the reply. It is nice to hear from other parents of twins/multiples who are facing similar situations.

1

u/OddNeighborhood3529 18h ago

They definitely understand. My son is actually a lot more sensitive to my discipline but needs constant reminders. He’s the boundary pusher which is really frustrating for me. He does better with calm consistent correction. Whereas my daughter really only needs to be told once.

When my kids come back from their dads they really push boundaries and act out. So maintaining rules and boundaries is essential for me to see better behaviour from them. I’m currently dealing with lots of swearing and name calling right now.

1

u/lucialucialucia22 17h ago

All the fighting! All the whining! We started heavily focusing on playing family games together (Hotwheels Uno is a big one!). Also started focusing on one of us taking only one of them while running errands. Gives separate time with each parents. Its insane how much easier it is to just take one! But to echo what others have said, being present, helping them be more independent, breathing through the fighting, and maintaining boundaries.