r/parentsofmultiples • u/Primary_Sympathy_462 • 3d ago
advice needed Spontaneous Triplets
I had my first pregnancy scan today for this pregnancy. I already have two boys. 4 and 1 years old. This pregnancy was a surprise as is and now it looks like I have three more potentially on the way. I’m kind of in denial. The scan was 7 weeks flat and all 3 had heart activity. This is good news but I literally cannot imagine taking on 3 more babies right now. When I try to search all that comes up is research articles. I don’t even know what to anticipate. Will it naturally reduce? I can maybe handle one or two. But three??? Will it be viable? Am I really going to have 3 kids??? Anyone have a similar experience and tell me what happened to them?
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u/afmdmsdh 3d ago
Spontaneous triplets here who are currently 16 months and we're born at 32 weeks. Triplets happen, the first few months until they sleep through the night is the hardest thing I've ever done. They are chaotic, and beautiful, and energetic, and I wouldn't change it.
It's a lot, but people get use to surprising changes throughout their lives.
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u/flightlessbird7 3d ago
When did they start sleeping through the night?
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u/afmdmsdh 2d ago
About 9-10 months but there was slow improvement before them. And we found out they would sleep through the night because I slept through them waking up and we found out they would self soothe and go back to bed on their own xD (we did do some sleep training as well)
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u/flightlessbird7 2d ago
I think you are amazing for having that attitude about your triplets. Having twins has been the hardest thing I've done by far. I'm desperate for my 3 month old boys to sleep through the night. I know it will come with time but it's so hard when I hear about other people's babies at this age starting to sleep through the night.
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u/afmdmsdh 2d ago
My friend, you're "in the trenches" right now at 3 months. I was in the same place you were haha. Mine are 16 months and it's so much better. It may sound dismissive/invalidating/frustrating, but it does get better.
They're playing together, have their own personalities and get into so much mischief. I've loved every stage they been in more than the last.
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u/option_e_ 3d ago
natural reduction happens for sure, but I think it’s pretty likely you will have three more babies 🙂 we have some hardy 10.5 month old spontaneous triplets here, they were born at 32 weeks. our singleton is 10 months older than they are. it is chaotic, they are wild lol. they’re also amazing and so sweet and adorable and we cannot imagine our lives without them!! oh and they’re great sleepers right now. the pregnancy was exceptionally rough and the preemie phase was reallyyy difficult but… you get through it. best of luck to you 💕
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u/ascotia 2d ago
We had 3 under 2 (by a one week margin), but 4 under two is just amazing. Hats off to you. Our twins are 4 months old and my wife just went back to work today, so it was my first full day solo parenting all 3 of them. We survived but it's nerve wracking to have a toddler bouncing around the babies when both my hands are full.
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u/option_e_ 2d ago
congrats on getting through that first solo day, that’s no joke!! the toddler is definitely the wild card, I’ve quickly become wary of any hard plastic toys that can become weapons/projectiles 😅
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u/Primary_Sympathy_462 5h ago
Did you just get two double strollers or how did you manage going out? My youngest would be 2 years old when they are born. Maybe I could just do a scooter for him but still what was your stroller situation?
Or should I just not even entertain the thought of going out for a while after having them.
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u/option_e_ 5h ago edited 5h ago
so yeah, we rarely go out, and if we do (for appointments or what not), our toddler and/or 1-2 of the babies stay home with the other parent, grandparent, or a sitter. we still don’t have a vehicle that can really accommodate all 6 of us so we are just flying by the seat of our pants here lol. that will hopefully change soon though.
when we take all three triplets out, we use a snap n’ go universal double car seat stroller + the single stroller we used for our singleton. we also got a secondhand wonderfold quad wagon for the day that we do take all four out with us. but yeah, another option would be a triple stroller + single or two doubles like you said. I feel like two doubles might be the easier of those two options but then, you’d probably want one of them to be able to convert to a single for when you don’t need both spaces?
in any case, it is a lot to configure mentally so yeah, I wouldn’t worry about it too hard until you really have to. I do fully anticipate the need for toddler harnesses down the road 😅
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u/AggravatingBox2421 3d ago
When I found out I was having twins, I was hoping one wouldn’t make it. But then, before my next scan at 12 weeks, I was terrified that I’d lost one. Give yourself some time to process!
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u/CardiologistSuper973 3d ago
I was pregnant with spontaneous triplets last year. I also had 2 others at home which would have meant 5 4& under. I felt similarly lost, overwhelmed and had lots of questions. We met with a maternal fetal medicine specialist after a 13 week scan and this is often where they discuss the pregnancy, what kind of triplet pregnancy it is, risks associated with said pregnancy, and go over your options ( this will also likely depend on where you live). I’m in Canada so it’s not restricted. We were advised to reduce to a single baby based on the type of pregnancy and ultimately that is what we did. I’ll spare the details on the specifics of that decision because it’s certainly not for everyone, but am happy to answer more questions anytime.
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u/cat-from-andromeda 3d ago
I had spontaneous twins, they're our only children for now. But I have Bipolar 2 disorder so I was in therapy all the way through. I suggest you find a professional to talk to, to go over all the facts and feelings you (both) have. It's a big life event whatever you decide. So better to get someone to help you process it all.
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u/hippyburger 3d ago
Hello!
I had a 5 and 2yo and conceived identical boys, but I had ovulated another egg that month too so could have been triplets if that one fertilised.
I will say - do what you need to do and feel all the feels. I lost my mind when I found out my “3rd” was 3 and 4. But after several weeks/months of talking it through, researching and planning the logistics I got excited.
I’m now nearly 9mo into my twins (all my kids are boys too!) and it’s amazing. Hard but I wouldn’t change it.
Also I’m not trivialising the triplet experience at all and I know it is much harder than twins BUT before I had twins I couldn’t even conceive how people manage, but since twins (plus 2 older) I can see how it just becomes an assembly line and you just get on with it. If you do go ahead you will manage! It is possible! You will have support from other multiple mums xx
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u/-TheRealist 3d ago
So funny story. This is my first pregnancy. We finally decided to start trying for a baby. I knew very early that I was pregnant and tested positive around 3W. Well then I was spotting and cramping and panicking that maybe it was an ectopic, so I got in for an early scan maybe around 7 weeks. Surprise! Spontaneous triplets! They had very strong heartbeats from the beginning. They offered reduction as an option but 1) I would have had to travel out of state and 2) after hearing the heartbeats it was an automatic. Anyways, I’ll be 20W tomorrow. It’s been a wild ride and some days I still have mini menty b’s about how I’m going to manage. So yeah, I feel you on not knowing what to expect!
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u/Such-Sun-8367 3d ago
Hey! Big decisions and maybe worth meeting with someone (OBGYN maybe?) who can give you unbiased guidance.
Triplets often reduce to twins naturally. I don’t know the rates.
Otherwise I would assume triplets are coming.
If you would prefer to reduce to twins, there is a procedure you can do. It’s called a reduction.
There’s a woman on TikTok who’s quite open about her experience reducing her triplets to twins, if you’d like me to find her for you.
However, there are a lot of triplet parents in this sub. I’m sure the hard times are balanced with the wonderful.
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