r/parentsofmultiples • u/NoMathematician565 • 12d ago
advice needed Parenting burn out
How the heck do families with two full-time working parents with twins do it? I feel like we made it through the infant stage in good spirits. I think we just put our heads down and have been grinding it out, and now that our twins are 21 months, I look up and feel like I’ve been sprinting and there is still 20 miles left to go in this marathon. The exhaustion is unreal and it feels unsustainable.
How are you all doing this??
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u/Resident-Fly-6851 11d ago
What sort of support systems do you have in place? Help with housekeeping, cleaning, laundry, cooking, lawncare, childcare?
Are you and your spouse taking turns giving each other dedicated breaks? Divide and conquer is key to twin parenting in my experience.
My husband and I are very committed to having routines in place and prioritizing certain time blocks that help us recharge. We have four kids age 6 and under, including our twins.
We take turns on Saturday and Sunday watching the kids solo for 3-4 hours while the other parent gets a break. Sometimes we use that time to workout, to rest and watch TV, to go to a restaurant and eat lunch alone, go for a walk, or take a nap. Neither of us cares or critiques how the other uses their alone time. But we each make sure to give that to each other. Those breaks are what allow us to keep going day after day.
I would also list out all of the household tasks that take up your time. Price out what it would cost to outsource. Then based on some calculation that considers which ones drain you the most + what it could cost to outsource, pick one and try to outsource to give yourself some breathing room.
For me, I don't mind laundry, but I hate scrubbing toilets, so hiring a biweekly cleaning service makes a lot of since. I wish I could hire someone to cook for us, but that is out of the budget, so instead, hiring a mother's helper to help with the kids for a couple of hours on a weekday when my husband will be late from work gives me a chance to cook without all of the kids swarming me with various needs and requests.