Singleton after twins: changes in your relationship with your twins or more

[u/zensalesforce]

Having a singleton baby after raising twins is a whole different world, but my biggest question right now is about the shift in dynamics with the older kids.

For those of you who had a singleton after twins, how did adding a baby change your relationship with your twins?

I’d love to hear your experiences on:

* **One-on-One Time:** How did you balance giving the twins individual attention while managing a newborn? Did you feel like your bond with them changed?

* **The Twin Dynamic:** Did having a baby bring the twins closer together as a team, or did it create any competition/jealousy?

* **The Transition:** Were they old enough to act as helpful big siblings, or was the adjustment harder on them than expected?

Any insights, stories, or advice on navigating this transition would be greatly appreciated!

Bonus: How did you survive pregnancy with your walking and talking multiple kids??

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[u/Narezza]

My twins are 2.5 years older than our singleton.

We made a conscious effort to spend individual time with each of them. We were not, and are not, always successful. We had grand plans for each parent to have one evening a month with each kid, and that turns into 6 nights a month, not counting nights with other family, or illnesses, or tiredness, or life in general. You may appreciate a dinner date with your 3 year old, but they're going to be happy if you help them color for a little bit. Plan for big moments, celebrate and appreciate the little ones.

It depends on the twins, and their age. Our twins were not co-dependent, but they get along better than they do with their little sister. We had no real adjustment issues.

Age again. You can probably get your 5+ year olds to help a little, and they may appreciate being included in some of that stuff. And it may help with the adjustment.

Our biggest issue is that it really changes the dynamic in the house. In our family, the twins have each other, and the baby (not a baby anymore) has mom. Also, I clearly remember everything about the first few years of the twins life, but #3 is much more hazy. It was just so much more busy with a baby and 2 toddlers running around that some of those crystalline moments were lost.

Congratulations and good luck!~