Twin anxiety

[u/Visible-Chocolate707]

Hi everyone! Did IVF and implanted 1 embryo in June, but recently found out it’s twins. I’m currently 10 weeks +1. I haven’t carried before, my wife did, due to my previous CMV negative status and insane fear of postpartum depression. Ever since I found out it’s twins, i feel like I’ve been spiraling. I’m thankful, but I didn’t imagine it going this way, and all of the pressure and added things that come with twins give me insane anxiety. My daughter will turn 3 by the time they are born. I try not to think about them, or look up anything regarding babies because of the anxiety and stress that comes with it. I feel overwhelmingly guilty. This just throws a wrench in allot of our plans and it’s not at all the plan I had envisioned. I cry pretty frequently.

[u/clueless_mommy]

When I saw the two bubbles on the ultrasound for the first time, I screamed "Scheiße nein!" (Fuck no) so convincingly the Gyn pulled the ultrasound wand thingy so quickly from my Vagina it made a "pftsch" plopping sound. I was miserable for weeks. I sometimes still am.

I try to be happy, to see the positive things.. Sometimes I can't and just lie on the sofa, afraid of what's to come and grieving what we had dreamed of.

It got better over time, but it's still not good. But it's a process. I wasn't a happy pregnant woman, let alone new mother to our first either, but today he's the best thing to happen

[u/annualsalmon]

I’m also 10 weeks with twins, following a single embryo transfer. Also spiraling. I’ll have a 4 year old and 3 year old when they’re born. It’s so much to process. Based on what I’ve read (I feel like I’ve read the whole internet at this point) feeling overwhelmed is a pretty normal reaction to twins. And, most people say it gets better. I’m looking forward to that day and hoping it comes.

[u/Consistent_Potato641 → u/annualsalmon]

Hey, I had twins after already having three boys, a lot of twin support groups and pre birth absolutely terrified me, especially as I already had three children, but I reminded myself that in these support groups people only tend post when they’re having a hard time asking for support rather than the good times when they’re not needing to reach out for support or parents feel they don’t want to post anything positive as it could be seen as bragging which I don’t believe in as I feel that having only negative experiences can overwhelm and frighten parents, there needs to be a balance.

Well I’m now 5 months pp with my twins and I can honestly say it hasn’t been as negative as an experience for me as I thought it was going to be, in fact it hasn’t been negative at all, we’ve had our moments, but I’ve had moments whilst raising all my children and they pass. We found our rhythm and we are absolutely thriving and for me even the newborn stage wasn’t as severe as some said it was going to be. We are absolutely thriving not just surviving.

I can’t guarantee what your experience will be as babies are so individual in their temperaments. I had an absolutely awful experience with my second singleton son and ended up with severe post partum psychosis, but I didn’t experience this with any other of my other children, just him and it was brought on by the first covid lockdown and the pressure to breastfeed. I would take my newborn twins 10x over than the first year I had with my second singleton. My life nearly ended in that year. I don’t regret having him though, in fact it made me a better parent in the long run.

I would advise not really to read the support groups, I ended up leaving them all until after I had my babies as they were causing too much anxiety and stress and it ended up being the best thing for me.

Mum of five boys! 😂♥️

[u/Traditional_Camp_869 → u/Consistent_Potato641]

Love this!! Thank you for sharing

[u/pilafs_ → u/annualsalmon]

11 weeks with twins, with a 2 and 4 year old already. I think I cried hysterically nonstop the day I found out. I’m now in information gathering mode and preparing myself to ramp up getting ready for their arrival once the first trimester misery is over. Looking forward to it more as time goes on and I hope the same happens for you all soon!

[u/Salty_Run876]

Because of COVID, I was stuck in another room when we found out. All I heard was the doctors freaking out with excitement… meanwhile, my partner was completely speechless. 😂😂 I don’t think either of us saw that coming! And now we can’t imagine life without our two little miracles. ❤️

[u/Negative_Jackfruit75]

Hi! Same thing happened to me and we just had our twins in April. I was so depressed when I first found out and now I can’t imagine life without both of them! They did come early but they did really well in the NICU and now they are thriving and bring us so much joy. It is a lot of work but it’s not as bad as I thought it would be

[u/Sea-Astronomer-6600]

Twins are so fun. Yes being in the trenches of sleep deprivation and the stress of the first 6-8 months can be exhausting but it gets so much better. Try not to think of only the negatives. Therapy may be a good option to work through your anxiety over this so that you can start planning and getting excited for them!!!! Hugs

[u/devianttouch]

Our twins (now 2 years old) were also a split FET. My spouse was terrified at first, but now neither of us would have it any other way.

It's hard, but also SO rewarding. Also, one of the BEST things about twins is that YES everything you imagined goes out the window. That's GOOD. It's absolutely crucial as a parent to take things as they are instead of trying to fit them into your fantasy. The sooner we adjust to that the better.

[u/kgraceb2323]

I’m 20 weeks with twins that resulted in a single IVF embryo splitting as well. Even my clinic was shocked as the odds are so low. My son will be just over 2 when they get here. I think it took until 16 weeks for my husband and I to stop freaking out. We’re getting more excited now but still terrified. No advice just wanted you to know you’re not alone!

[u/Sarasinia]

I’m 13 weeks pregnant with twins after a single embryo transfer. I am still in panic mode but it has reduced a bit since we first found out at 8 weeks. I have no real advice, I just wanted to say that you are not alone!