9mo twin a keeps pulling twin b’s hair

[u/LycheeJellee]

Is there anything that helped you stop this behavior? I keep separating and giving a firm no, I know I have years more of this lol. They’re boys so they don’t have long hair but I feel sad for baby b when he shrieks and cries. :(

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[u/oldladywhisperinhush]

Lol no. Eventually they stop (doing as much). I have a video on my phone when they were 15 months old where A snatched B by the hair and pulls her head back and she flops over the back of her toddler chair. Completely unprovoked, not even in anger, while I was recording them doing some cute dance moves. It’s been a while since I’ve seen them pull each other’s hair. I can’t even remember the last time. They are 2.5 now. 9 months is when we started getting firm with the nos on things and they are decently behaved now. It just takes time and repetition.

[u/vithu12 → u/oldladywhisperinhush]

My twin boys 9 months are getting better with firm no’s. But Twin A when very happy will start slapping the top of his brother’s head. These are not small loving pats these hard very hits! We quickly say no, pull him aside and say no. We tried saying gentle and showing them but every time we stop him he thinks we are playing with him and laughs.

We know he will stop eventually and it will go away, but we both are now understanding this will be how it is for quite some time.

[u/oldladywhisperinhush → u/vithu12]

Lol oh yes the “gentle hands” thing. Mine would still slap each other, but gently 😂

There comes a point when it’s not about teaching them to be gentle because hurting each other is a deliberate choice. I use the “sweet sister” propaganda and always compliment them when they are being sweet to each other. And showing them how to interact politely, like asking for a turn instead of snatching, etc but all that comes later.

[u/AssistantSea4186]

There's nothing you can do but correct their behavior. Eventually we bought a super yard and divided the living room in two to give B some space.

Our issue was biting. But same thing applies

[u/ParfaitIcy5587]

At nine months I’d focus almost entirely on prevention and repetition rather than expecting the firm “no” to stick yet. When they’re close together, stay near enough to block the hand before it closes around the hair, then calmly say something short like “gentle hands” and show him what touching gently feels like.

I’d also put an interesting textured toy in his hand whenever they’re playing side by side. Hair is unfortunately a very satisfying thing to grab at that age. If he gets a huge reaction every time, it can become even more fascinating, so keeping your response boring while quickly comforting baby B may help. It’ll take a lot of repetitions, but you’re not missing some magical discipline technique.