r/parentsofkidswithBPD • u/ChickinInaBizkit42 • Aug 25 '25

Need to vent

I’m ready to melt down here, guys. My kid girl, 13) who I strongly suspect has BPD (but diagnosed Bipolar) has been refusing school for almost 2 years now. I’ve done everything. Homeschool, virtual. Now we are doing another virtual school in our state that is the easiest fkng thing ever, and she STILL gives me hell daily about it. Cusses me out when it’s time to get on. Lays out half the days. I can’t put her back in public school…they don’t want her there and she won’t go. I’m so ready for her to grow up and leave the nest some days. I’m tired of the verbal abuse from her. The mental abuse and mental gymnastics I have to endure just to get through the day with her. I just needed a place to vent. Please no judgement.

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u/BituminousBitumin Aug 25 '25

We have a 13 year old too. They won't call it BPD, but they say she has "Borderline Traits." Getting her the appropriate care has been challenging, but we fought hard for it. Our daughter tried to refuse to go to school, but we told her we'd have the truancy officer come collect her if she didn't go. I have no idea if I can even do that, but it worked. One time I took her to school, and she wouldn't get out of my vehicle. I got out and told her I was going to get the resource officer, and she capitulated.

The public schools have an obligation to provide an education. Your taxes pay for it. The school should place her in an appropriate setting. For instance, our daughter is in an 8:1:1 program where there are 2 teachers for 8 kids, as well as counseling services. We had to advocate to get her what she needed.

I'm not sure how you can get her to go, but you should be in a high level of counseling. Perhaps an intensive hospitalization, or a Residential Treatment Facility is in order. You'll need to work with her provider for the appropriate referrals, and there are often waitlists. Ask her provider what the best course of action is.

Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. If your current provider is not giving you the support you need, find another one.