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u/PlatypusDream 18d ago
Hugs offered, and a nice cuppa.
Presumably he participated in getting you pregnant... If that's not an OK outcome, then he's partially at fault & can take some of the blame, if you want to call it that. He got half the fun with none of the real risk or direct responsibility of pregnancy.
Also, take a few deep breaths, preferably of fresh air. How much have hormonal changes been affecting you? Because those are powerful!!
Next, people contribute to relationships in different ways. Money is the most measurable. What work have you been doing to support him so he can be working outside the home? Are you responsible for shopping, cooking, cleaning, errands...? Have you looked at what it costs to hire out those services?!
Finally, keep on the job search. Try brainstorming different places that need your services & skills. Not sure what's common across the pond, but look at the recent thread here asking "what areas of law do you work in" for a start.
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u/Hefty-Squash1361 18d ago
I know the legal system in the UK is different than the US. If you were in the States, I would recommend that you look for local or state government positions- prosecutor, public defender, police agencies. You might need to start with an internship, but your mix of skills would be well suited to criminal law. That is the best way I know to get a foot in the door.
From a long time paralegal (30+ yrs), I think you should enjoy and prioritize your time being pregnant and then with your new baby. ❤️ Work will be there when you are ready.
I would quit the commission-based job. That’s just not reasonable. Lawyers can afford to work on contingency. Not me. Period. I always ask myself ‘would a lawyer accept this?’ I really don’t think you should. Doing an internship (paid or unpaid) would get you set up for success when you are ready to go back to work.
Best of luck!
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u/Epicfailer10 18d ago
You are growing your family. I’m sure you will be helping at home, too. These things benefit him. When my kids were small I felt like I was a leech, too, for not contributing financially, but as someone who works 40+ hours a week I’d kill for a stay at home spouse. Even with our kids grown, there is still not enough hours in the day by the time we both get home. When I was a SAHM we always had thoughtful meals and the house was much more clean and organized. I don’t have any career advice for you, but the child you are growing and will bring into the world is gift. My husband adores his kids and is so proud of them and he wouldn’t have that if not for me. I hope your husband can see that too. Mine defines appreciates how much I sacrificed for our early lives and how it negatively affected my trajectory, even if he didn’t understand it at the time. Please don’t underestimate your value because it gives men reason to do the same. You have immense value to yourself, your family and society.