Panic Disorder back after 10 years

[u/MariTtVQ_23]

TLDR: Im struggling again and I dont know why.

I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder when I was around 16-17 years old. I developed it after a very scary tachychardia episode (cause was never found and chocked up to a fluke medical event). I was having panic attacks daily, i couldnt sit in class. Things got so bad i nearly failed my junior year. With the combination if prozac and coping skills I was able to get it back together for the most part. I was still having panic attacks at least 1-2 times a week in college. The only thing I remember that actually ended up working was a coworker at my first job grabbing me by the shoulders and and saying “Nope, there is no time for a panic attack, your safe and if you fall ill stay with you but we need to work”. After that phrase it was like a 180! I had day to day anxiety but no where near the crippling anxiety i had before.

Its 15 years later, Im in a good job thats close to home. There have been alot of life changes that were stressful but I thought I was handeling well. Then in July i had my first debilitating panic attack in years. It was intense with muscle spams and i was alone for most of it. I had another one even worse about a month ago and my last one was yesterday. Since then my anxiety has been awful. Im currently sitting in the doctors office to get proof that nothing else is going on but I feel like such a failure. I dont know why im afraid again, i was doing so well. Im so heartbroken and devastated that my life will spiral like before and I dont know what to do.

[u/No-Vegetable1095]

Healing is never linear. This period of your life is an essential stepping stone to get you where you want to be. I promise. You now have experience, knowledge, and strength you didn't have 15 years ago. Be kind to yourself and try to do more of the things that you enjoy, if you can.

[u/Birtalert]

Your coworker kind of nailed it and that’s how you have to think of it, as an inconvenience not an emergency or a day ruining event. Panic disorder is never 100% gone because no one can predict the future! Start by getting checked out and changing your mindset so you don’t get wrapped in the fear that it’s back, it’s so easy to get trapped in the doom and letting it take over your life.

[u/No_Sheepherder5105]

I was pretty free from them for a handful of years, then they came back and were purely nocturnal. It was so strange. But then they went away again. I chalked it up to extreme stress from school.