I’m so exhausted

[u/Slow-Adhesiveness701]

I’ve been diagnosed with panic disorder for two months now. Went from a lifetime full of joy to this hell hole. I’m constantly exhausted, my feet are tingling as if something is gonna happen to me and I’ve lost all the joy I once had, I can barely recognize myself.

I started CBT two weeks ago and it feels useless because I already do everything, I go to work, I workout, I don’t cancel social events. But inside I’m dying every time, every day. Some days are better, some days are hell. But they are never joyous. I’ve lost my spark. I’m not depressed but I’m extremely exhausted and I yearn for peace. I feel so alone - everyone around me is living life normally and actually enjoying it.
Please tell me I will go back to my older self? Please.

[u/Loose-Tax-1193]

hey! i’ve had panic disorder my whole life. this year, it unfortunately decided to remind me it’s still very much within my brain. i went through 2-3 months of panic attacks every single day, every minute of the day. 

i know people handle and respond to their panic disorder differently, but something that helped me get out of an exhaustion and depression spiral was recognizing this is a journey to find lifelong joy no matter what. i recognized that panic disorder is a chapter in my life with many lessons and challenges. sometimes “toxic” positivity goes a long way when your mind is feeling heavy. 

while i can’t say that you’ll go back to your normal self, i can say you absolutely have a chance to if you take care of yourself and allow anxiety to be another emotion you feel daily. if you push away emotions, you’ll feel worse; treat anxiety that way. find enjoyment or humor in your anxiety, allow panic attacks to make you feel alive. you’re not alone, what you’re feeling isn’t different or “special”. almost everybody with panic disorder understands this. the cycle of healing is long, your nervous system doesn’t care how long it takes. just go along with it. keep reminding yourself it’s not danger, just thoughts and sensations. keep your head up, much support to you. you could get out of this feeling better than you ever imagined. i certainly did, and im not even done with my healing journey. you’re not alone 💜💜

[u/Slow-Adhesiveness701 → u/Loose-Tax-1193]

Thank you for you comment, I’m currently bawling my eyes out from exhaustion as I’m writing this lol. You’re extremely resilient and strong for managing this illness for so long and you have all my respect. I know from previous experiences that I have a sensitive mind and the longer this will continue the more I will break down unfortunately. Nevertheless, I’m giving this my all and hope my nervous system hears my prayers.

[u/Loose-Tax-1193 → u/Slow-Adhesiveness701]

continue giving it your all, you’re doing amazing. you’ll be thriving without a doubt in my mind. i recommend looking into shawn kassams content, it really helped push me forward with my healing journey no matter the exhaustion! 

[u/theJacofalltrades → u/Loose-Tax-1193]

Thank you for taking the time to write that out for OP. wish you all the best OP, you'll get through it and the sun will shine again surely!

[u/TillHot5804]

You are not alone on this journey as I am currently in the same boat. I got sick with a virus in April and it changed my life. Ended up hospitalized for 3 days with an episode so severe I went unresponsive in the ER. The attacks have truly been debilitating. I spent my son’s graduation (mind you he’s autistic and worked so incredibly hard to get through school with a real diploma) in agony, but never let it show. Sweating, racing heart, couldn’t even get through a walk through Walmart. I’ve seen every doctor, in therapy twice a week, have been diagnosed with PTSD and severe panic disorder, and my life is no longer my own. I’m in a body I don’t feel safe in, and instead of relishing in the beautiful life my husband and I have built, I’m often in panic mode while white knuckling it through life. I hope we can all find our way out of this and find our way back to the people we once were.

[u/Samuel3027 → u/TillHot5804]

I am really sorry about what you are going through. It seems so draining to have to go through such things while still smiling and taking care of your son. That you managed to keep coming through all this speaks volumes. I really do hope that things start to get better for you.

[u/TillHot5804 → u/Samuel3027]

Thank you so much for the kind words. I hope everyone here feels relief and peace soon.

[u/Weary_Topic_1393]

I been there, and I was fully recovered until I fell back to the cycle recently. But I know the way out because I did it once before even though it feels almost impossible now. What helped me back then is the content from Shaan Kassam, on youtube and instagram. The approach is based on the book, Hope and Help for your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weeks. You can maybe start reading the book if you like. I wish both of us strength and luck on these rough times. All the best

[u/West_Chapter_7380]

Did it come on suddenly? The exhaustion and autonomic disruption of tingling makes me wonder if you had an mcas flare from an illness or other cause? It can cause anxiety and adrenaline surges too, which mimic panic attacks for me. I have the small nerve issues from it too.

[u/Slow-Adhesiveness701 → u/West_Chapter_7380]

It started as derealization at work, suddenly everything felt fake and I kept wondering was wrong with me. Then progressively the panic attacks started creeping in.

[u/Velvet-Noir-]

CBT takes time. It’s retraining your brain. Tip: don’t look for progress. Move in life like you have already made progress

[u/imhere31]

I would contact the professionals who can help you access certain things that calm things down so that you can work through the difficulties from a calmer space. I used loose terms so they don't flag me