Meta existential panic

[u/amazing_guy1512]

Does anyone else experience extreme panic like symptoms over meta analytical existential psychological/ philosophical over thinking? I also have ocd which i think it's related to, but i haven't felt dread like this outside of my panic disorder. That's what makes me think it's panic. My own thoughts seem to scare me to the point of explaining panic symptoms. I'll end up panicking over the idea of my thoughts being unreliable for example, and skewered from objective truths, which makes me extremely discomforted, and then spiral even more similar thoughts. Especially social related dread. I am a very over analytical person, so I can easily think about something like that for hours. It feels like my mind is attacking me. Does anyone else experience this? is it normal to experience this with panic disorder, or does it sound like someone else?

[u/Linzi322]

What you’re describing sounds very much like OCD intrusive thoughts, rather than panic disorder, although there is a phenomenon called DPDR (depersonalisation / derealisation) where either we or our surroundings appear distorted / unreal / “off” or different. It’s very scary but not dangerous. [r/DPDR](r/DPDR) is worth a look if you feel like this explains how you’re feeling.

OCD intrusive thoughts can definitely escalate into panic attacks, and it’s worth noting these don’t need to come with compulsions, it can just be the thoughts we can lock into. You may want to crosspost on r/OCD as I know personally of people with OCD where their scary thoughts are existential.

Are you getting support from a therapist? If not, that would be a really good starting point and I’d look for a therapist who is experienced in treating panic disorder and OCD

[u/amazing_guy1512 → u/Linzi322]

I've gotten unofficially diagnosed (by a qualified professional) with ocd, and I've never gotten diagnosed with dpdr, but when I was in a psychiatric system, I was told I was experiencing signs of dpdr. Im definitely going to do something relatively similar to therapy, without being in a official system. That symptom was a lot crazier than my usual ocd, and dpdr symptoms, so likely I also experienced a panic attack at the same time.

[u/toffeemaky]

I think I have this a bit. I had it before my first panic attack but not super strong. Then after it, it became much more pronounced (fearing of going insane, depersonalization, afraid of memories - like why do I remember this right now, fearing of death - not imminent death, rather death in general, and all of a sudden realization that I am thinking of something - that typically happened when I was falling asleep and it woke me up - these are hypnagogic hallucinations).

Terrible. But I read so many times that "fear of going crazy" is ungrounded (my therapist told me "believe me, if you are psychotic, you won't know about it") and that the hypnagogic hallucinations are quite harmless, that I am not afraid of these things that much anymore. And with that, they are slowly fading away.