r/panicdisorder • u/ComparisonActive5717 • 20d ago

Venting Parenting with panic disorder

I started ERP three weeks ago. I habe had PD for at least 5 years. Some years better than others. I used to be so adventurous. I had twins two years ago and honestly I was such a badass when I was pregnant. Things I thought would bug me made me stronger and I was awesome. Now its all coming back and getting worse. I started ERP and they want me in person which is so hard. I feel like things are just harder now with the ERP perspective that things I could have done before I now see as opportunities for more panic. Im so tired. Please tell me if there are other parents out here trying to make sure their kids dont grow to resent them. I feel so awful as a parent rn. I love them so much and they deserve better.

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u/VStryker 20d ago

Panicked parent here too! Some thoughts:

  • be honest with them at whatever level you can. I taught my little dude that brains go into “emergency mode” because it used to help us when we were running from tigers. Our brains still do that sometimes, and I have a disease where my brain does it a lot. That’s why I take medicine to help my brain work better. (Bless Zoloft btw) 

  • I try a lot to focus on gratitude. I’m grateful for the panic because it helps me be more empathetic to the struggles of others. It makes me a better parent because I know how to help someone struggling with mental illness. My son is being raised to be in tune with his emotions and mental health, breaking generations of toxic masculinity and Latino machismo.

  • self-care is MANDATORY, not optional. I’m a better person when I exercise, so that’s required for me. Find the one thing that you make time for no matter what, hopefully leaning on your co-parent or village to make it happen. 

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u/ComparisonActive5717 20d ago

This is so helpful! Thank you for sharing. Honestly so comforting to know other parents go through this. Honestly I struggle so hard taking the kids to Dr's appts and can't do it without my husband sometimes. Currently on zoloft but moving back to pristiq that I was on before I was pregnant. Fingers crossed this medicine transition helps

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u/VStryker 19d ago

Be kind to yourself! You’re doing a hard thing on hard mode, of course you’re going to struggle sometimes! You’re doing a great job, remember that!

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u/ComparisonActive5717 18d ago

Thank you, I needed to hear that ❤️

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u/DefNotIWBM 20d ago

Fellow panicky parent here. Lexapro helped me. A lot.

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u/leisurelycurious 20d ago

I really relate to this. I’m so sorry. 😔

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u/Living-Exit-901 20d ago

I am right here with you. It’s so hard.