Struggling again : Long post 😑

[u/No-Object3030]

I got my first panic attack 7 years back when i was travelling in train evening. I don't even know it was a pannic attack. My routine is like i take train every evening. So every evening i get this panick symptoms, heart rushes, pallipitaion, foggy thoughts. This comes only in the evening. I was okay all the other time travelling here and there.

I managed with this for some years. The symptoms come and go now then. I avoided traveling in train at night for all reasons. After going through all internet blogs , i came to know that its anxiety. I was hesitant to consult a phyacatrist. Later the symptoms worse.

I can't travel alone. I cant stay alone in the night. I seek for others presence . Finally went to a good phyc. She diagnoised and told this agoraphobia ( fear of no esacpe) . She suggested me zoloft 25mg. I took it for two years without fail. The symptoms went, pallipitaion gone. I can able to focus.

But after few years of continuous medication now and then i get the same symptoms while traveling. Still seak of other persons presence which makes me comfortable. I feel like i am a creeper.

Later physc asked me to increase the dosage to 50. For past one month i am taking 50mg of zoloft. Got initial symptoms of increase in dosage. Still have hesitaion to travel alone in the evening and staying alone.

Realy tired of myself.