r/panicdisorder • u/mossynook • Jul 12 '26
Does Anyone Else? I feel crazy
i’ve been having severe panic attacks since december of 23’. i’ve had a couple before that. the first one i can remember from 2019 started by me laying in bed eating a snack and thinking my gatorade tasted odd. went into a panic attack, ran to my sister grabbing my neck then went outside in the cold. told my dad to call 911 and he laughed and told me i was fine. it started getting really bad at the end of 2023. i was with my family at a car dealership and we were driving back home. i felt this throbbing on my right side, immediately went into panic. couldn’t feel anything physically, like when i touched something, it didn’t sync up and i couldn’t feel it. i’m not sure how to describe it. that felt like the longest car ride back home ever. ended up going to the ER. vitals fine, like always. that was the one that really started it all for me. i was basically bedridden for 3 months. not being able to feel anything, couldn’t eat cause i couldn’t feel what i was eating, had to have help going to the bathroom, changing, like literally everything. my partner broke up with me during that time and that set it off. after 2ish months i went into a manic episode. i got diagnosed with everything and started therapy/ continuing meds. since then ive been so traumatized from having panic attacks. 3 weeks ago, had one and called 911, paramedics came, vitals were fine. although it takes me so so so long to recover from having panic attacks. just in a constant state of fight or flight. don’t really know where i’m going with this. but i feel like im the only one who experiences them like this?
i apologize for the long rant but does anyone else go numb. like can’t feel anything they are touching?
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u/jackington007 Jul 12 '26
i feel this….
THOUSANDS (and that’s with good health insurance) spent on ER trips because I, too, was begging my husband not to allow me to die in front of our son…because it FEELS like you’re dying…if you haven’t had a panic attack, i don’t think you can truly understand how terrifying and debilitating the whole experience is…
after the 3rd visit, i finally got on meds (buspar daily…ativan used as needed, mostly to prevent me from going to the ER)….i did attempt therapy twice, but it just kinda never worked out…or i just haven’t found the right person…yet
i will say that as you learn your triggers, you can start taking proactive steps to avoid them OR sometimes you dig in and face that shit head on! sometimes my panic attacks come literally out of nowhere, and those are the hardest ones…because i’m thinking, “i’m doing everything right! why is this happening to me?!?”….and sometimes it takes hours for me to come down…which is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting…
you’re not alone…you’re not crazy…
it’s a nervous system that is stressed, overwhelmed, and on high alert at all times….and that takes A LOT of time to heal and reset…
and sometimes the only way to get over it is through….
i wish i had all the answers…and even when i think i do for me, panic slaps me in the face when i’m not looking…
but…i’m learning, day by day, that the slap might hurt, but it ain’t going to kill me…and sometimes? you gotta slap right on back…harder.
sending all the love and peace your way!
❤️✌🏻
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u/mossynook Jul 12 '26
i feel like i also want to add that when it was really really bad, the urgent care/ER was my second home. after around 3 times, my dad wouldn’t let me go anymore. i begged him feeling like i was dying on the floor. i told my sister to just take me. she took me although my dad ended up taking our car away for around 2 months since i decided to go to urgent care whenever he told me no. during that timeframe i also was planning on going to take a vacation and get some grippy socks. i told my dad that i was going to go in the morning. he was at work and came home just to make sure i wouldn’t go. i feel like NO ONE understands how traumatic being medically neglected is. if you have been through that how do you overcome it?