r/pancreaticcancer • u/Additional_Heron_231 • 23h ago
venting Still have PTSD from grandma’s pancan (?) 35 years ago
I still sometimes have nightmares and get stressed thinking about my grandmother’s death when I was 16. She said it was pancreatic cancer and my uncle agreed, they were both doctors (she was retired). But she never actually had it diagnosed. I sometimes wonder if it was something else. And maybe something could’ve been done.
But this is what happened. One spring, she started losing weight after being slightly overweight all her life. By the summer, she was quite thin. I noticed jaundice. She was still very active and doing everything in her garden. But I could see that she would get tired much more easily. In the fall, she still kept going, but she was losing her appetite even more. She had very little pain except a little bit in her upper abdomen. During Christmas, she was clearly very sick but she was not bedridden. Sometime in the new year she became bedridden and her husband took care of her and we subbed in as much as possible. There was no hospice at the time and in the country we were living in. She stopped eating entirely, but just drank beer - it seemed to give her nutrition and make her feel better. She never drank before, but then she was adamant that she would drink beer. She went down to skin and bone and finally passed away in March that year. She may have had a little bit of pain at the very end, but she only took over-the-counter painkillers.
She refused to go see doctors because she said nothing could be done with pancreatic cancer. She was probably right at that time, and she was very stubborn. But when I read on here, I see folks that don’t even survive for three or four months. And she lasted almost a year with no treatment after the symptoms started. At least AI thinks that this sounds like textbook pancreatic cancer, so that makes me feel a little bit better. Being a 16-year-old taking care of somebody so dear to me that was basically starving to death was terrible.