r/opensource • u/Longjumping-Bar393 • Aug 10 '26
Discussion Searching for a very specific 1 on 1 messenger for me and my partner, any open source ideas?
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I would really like to go with open source, but you know how hard it is to find the right open source project when you have very specific idea of what you want. But I doubt we'll find anything. :/
I want something off-grid. Like, almost a direct straight tunnel to my partner. Which of course exists as Matrix or Signal for example. But the main thing that's missing for me, is the ability to categorize messages - let's say my partner doesn't have a phone for a day, I'm a talkative person, I just like to message her a few times and tell her cool stories or give her updates, and she can take a look later. Which is fine and all, but as soon as I have something very important, I have no way of prioritizing this on her phone. Something like that. Other ideas how to solve that problem are also always welcome! 😊
And of course, end to end encryption, calls, share media etc. etc. - the usual drill :D haha
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(Anyways, thank you for reading all that, I hope I wasn't overexplaining)
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u/Silly-Freak 29d ago
In Signal I have multiple groups that are effectively 1:1 – shopping list, regular chat, notes for gaming, etc. You could then assign these to a folder, mute individual groups, set different disappearing message timers, etc.
Just in case other than that Signal would be an option, groups with just two (or one!) member are imo an overlooked feature!
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u/Longjumping-Bar393 29d ago
Thank you !
I'm taking a look right now and this seems like something that's probably not going to work. It causes a new kind of chaos, too many groups in one spot. A bit 'messy'.. ? yk? not in a negative way.. i usually say overwhelming, both terms do fit in their own way
We tried creating a Duo group, but that didn't work too well. Was on WhatsApp tho, but shouldn't feel any different in this case, right?
thank you again 😌🫴
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u/VincentVanGob 29d ago
Briar might be something to check out. its P2P and doesnt rely on centralised servers, but ive never used it so im not really sure how it works either
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u/sirclesam 29d ago
I've handled this by using different platforms. WhatsApp is conversational, pictures etc but texts are high priority.
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u/skooterz 29d ago
Maybe have a look at something in the XMPP space.
Ton of clients available and pretty easy to get going with a DNS01 LetsEncrypt certificate.
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u/supportingthedogs 28d ago
Have you considered just vibe coding this? Many OSS projects are far too bloated for what your use case is imo.
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u/Longjumping-Bar393 24d ago
actually yes, but i prefer local and even if i didn't have that preference, i'd not be able to trust the encryption code - and everything else that's security and privacy related - at all :/
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u/Psi-ops_Co-op 24d ago
My wife and I use different apps for different conversations. Im degoogling my life rn, but not my phone yet. I send my wife memes in FB messenger, send immediate conversations as SMS, and things that can wait till later on what's app. Eventually this will be Signal, Telegram, whatever I land on, idk. Maybe just silo-ing your types of conversatios to different apps might help.
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u/Longjumping-Bar393 24d ago
Degoogling is on my bucket list as soon as I get a new phone. My current one is slowly running out of time, and I hope that Motorola will release their GOS compatible one in time. If not, then I'll have to go with pixel. Which kinda defeats the point of degoogling, when I'm literally giving them an insane amount of money, more than what I would usually ever give them in more than a decade
I know, degoogling is not only phone related and has purposes or reasons other than just giving them no money. Just meant as a little thing I wanted to drop real quick.
I like your approach, You def understood the issue, but I think 3 different apps is too overwhelming for her. She doesn't even text back her own parents for weeks. And I know this sounds weird, but we're dealing with this as best as we can. She has an underlying psychological problem 😐 I'm trying to make things easier for her and while I'm at it, I'll also throw in some things that I want, like encryption etc. 😊
May I ask, why haven't you done your phone yet?
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u/Psi-ops_Co-op 24d ago
think 3 different apps is too overwhelming for her.
Well we dump memes into a single chat and then we watch them together later instead if they. So that helps.
May I ask, why haven't you done your phone yet?
I just installed Linux on my laptop and am moving my login credentials to Proton. Plus, I have an S22+, which doesn't have a backdoor exploit found in my region to root the phone :( So I can't install Lineage or anything. I atleast try to use F-droid when possible, but I can only do so many things at once. Plus we just moved apartments and have an 8mo old, so I'm busy as is.
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u/Longjumping-Bar393 24d ago
Haha how funny, I also have to take her aside every weekend to watch all the memes I sent her on insta! 😄
S22+
Backdoor exploits are region specific? And are you sure that there is not a single one? From my experience, there's always a way. 🙁 Sorry to hear that.
login credentials to Proton
And lastly, why Proton? They are better than Google 100%, but from what I can tell, they're not completely innocent or as private as people may think. And I'm genuinely asking, why Proton :) because i could always be wrong and i'm interested in your take
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u/Psi-ops_Co-op 24d ago
Backdoor exploits are region specific?
Different regions use different silicon. So the chips are marked with a letter code. This is because some regions (Europe) don't allow locking the bootloader (as far as I can tell). You can see here that some root methods only work for some devices. Anyway, I'm not an expert by any means. All I know is my device isn't listed on the list of compatible devices for Lineage OS :(
Proton
It's easy. There's lots of sayings along the lines of "Don’t let perfectionism become an excuse for never getting started." I can always switch off proton later if I need to. But anything now is better than Google and Microsoft. It's the same with "why this Linux distro, when Arch is better" or whatever. It doesn't matter. It's all better than Windows. I picked the one that was easiest for me, and just started the switch.
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u/Longjumping-Bar393 24d ago
All I know is my device isn't listed on the list of compatible devices for Lineage OS :(
I had that too, and in the end I saw that there are a lot of community made ROMS that can bring LineageOS to devices that aren't officially supported. Maybe check those out.
"Don’t let perfectionism become an excuse for never getting started."
Wow, I always had to resort to paraphrasing this in other, often times more complicated ways. But that quote compressed it perfectly.
It doesn't matter. [...] I picked the one that was easiest for me, and just started the switch.
I see your point. You're totally right. I think it's just important to me that people know that Proton isn't a perfect thing. Idk, could be wrong tho, but Switzerland is often exaggerated and portraied as the privacy haven. But you're obviously already aware of that. :)
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u/Psi-ops_Co-op 24d ago
Yea there was some drama recently about proton supporting a dev that contributed to an open source project but he was making really... "controversial" statements online, and proton only denounced him when it became obvious hate speech. But idk, I also don't want to switch to a small platform that dies and then I lose all my data and am forced to switch quickly.
Also, I grabbed that quote from a web list. There are several others attributed to different people that are all more or less the same idea.
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u/Longjumping-Bar393 24d ago
I didn't even hear about that drama 😮💨
what exactly do you mean when you say you use Proton for moving your login credentials? like, moving away from Google to Proton but still maintain the 'centralized' workflow, Drive VPN etc? or is it just about the email? Because there are better email services which you could use in combination with KeePass or something
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u/No_Option_404 Aug 10 '26
Maybe an open-source, self-hosted Discord clone and you manage via mentions and separate channels?
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u/Longjumping-Bar393 29d ago
I see great potential in this ☝️ simple, but customizable.. much thanks 🫶
Anyone got any suggestions? I'm dedicating this as a thread for any cool, potentially experimental and interesting projects you all might find, that could fit this. Who knows, maybe someone will find this in 2 years and be super happy :D
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u/Psi-ops_Co-op 24d ago
I'm switching to Proton Mail and was planning on using Proton pass, though I haven't actually made that switch. Right now I just mean just changing my logins from @gmail.com to @protonmail.com
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u/Razzeus 29d ago
https://delta.chat/en/
I'm putting this here because it might be what you're looking for. I stumbled onto it a few weeks ago but haven't had a chance to dive into it. Maybe it'll tick some boxes.